Yes, My King

Day 10: When Ya Get Drafted

I wake up to the beeping of an alarm, my body is weirdly tired. Oh shit, I got high last night. We don't have training today, so why is the alarm going off? My thoughts are cut off by whisper-talking, "I told you to turn that shit off, you'll wake her up", is that... Damian?

"It wouldn't wake her up if she was in her bed, now would it?", Xander. Wait. My bed? Is this not my bed? I open my eyes and sit up, my muscles working against me. Xander and Damian are standing, while the bottom bunk across from me holds Aiden, who turns over and puts his head under his pillow. 

Damian keeps the same attitude, "I told you there's no way I'm letting her sleep unprotected right after that. I don't know how you could, either. You saw her"

Why am I here? Oh shit. Did I fuck someone? I try to remember last night, but I regret it. The long-haired boy. Xander. Damian. It's overwhelming. The memory crowds my mind as I hyperventilate. I can't breathe. Clutching my chest as I heave, I try to get up. I have to go. Somewhere. Anywhere. I can't move. 

Xander and Damian take notice. Damian crouches by the bed, cradling my shoulders, while Xander keeps his distance. He breathes slowly, showing me what to do, and I obey. It's under control now, though it still shutters a bit. "Thank you". 

"Do you want me to take you back to your room?", I nod as Damian helps me stand. Chuckling, he says, "Next time, take it easy on the TripSticks". I'm not sure there'll be a next time, at a party, anyway. Everything is still slow. My mind. My body. I glance around, laying my eyes on their clock. 0820. It's only been five hours. Less than five hours of sleep. 

Damian gets me back to my room, letting me get myself into bed. Ivy rushes over when she sees me, "Where the fuck were you last night? I was fucking worried", stunned, and not knowing how to answer, I just didn't. "Did you..", she gestures her arm between me and the door, "Did you‽". I can't tell if she was upset or worried, but luckily, this is a question I can answer. 

"No, Ivy, I did not. With anyone other than you", my face contorts without my consent. Would the blue-eyed boy count? It happened, but I didn't want it to. It might be my fault, but I didn't mean for it to happen. It wasn't my fault. But it was, too. 

Ivy dragged me out of the rabbit hole of thoughts by holding my cheek, "Hey, tell me what happened. I'm not stupid. I know that maybe you didn't fuck anyone, but something happened, and you're gonna tell me", she leads me to her bed and we sit side-by side. She's sitting criss-cross, while I cradle my knees to my chest. 

I look for the words to explain as she patiently waits. I'll start simple, "I was too high to move much on my own, so Damian took me to their room and put me in his bed. I don't think he slept in it with me". She isn't convinced that's all of it. And she's right. I guess. 

"You think he didn't sleep in the bed with you? What if he took advantage of you? Why didn't he just bring you in here?", so many questions.

I speak before she can ask another, "I trust him. I don't think he did any of that, besides, I think that at least one of the guys would have stopped him since Henry was sober and Xander was functional"

She's still not convinced. Goddamn. "You still didn't answer why he didn't just bring you in here", her voice is even pushier than before. 

I don't know why. Then this morning's conversation hits me, "Because he was scared to leave me alone after this guy... last night.. he..", tears stream down my face as the dam broke. I remember feeling so vulnerable, helpless, pathetic. I want to go home to my dad and curl up in a ball in his bed, but that's not an option. 

Ava and Eileen walk through the door, so I wipe my eyes and bury my face in my knees. Eileen speaks up, "Where were you last night? We were worried. Especially Ivy". I don't want to explain this again.