The Bodyguard #TheWattys2015

08. The bodyguard

Cassandra's POV

I can hear my heart going wild when I lean against the door of my room. I feel like the ground underneath is going to open and swallow me. The furniture is spinning around along with me and my breath comes out as weak pants.

What was that?

What the hell was that?

I need to collect myself. I need to get used to this. I have to.

I repeat over and over to myself, but there's no use as my mind keeps playing the memories of him; of us.

I quickly walk to my nightstand and open it to retrieve a pack of cigarettes. As soon as smoke engulfs my lungs, I feel my breath calming down; everything settles at its places.

I lie down on the bad and inhale once more.

I remember the first time we smoked together. It was in the forest. The day before that, we kissed for the first time.

His kiss. God, I swear I could feel his taste on my tongue for a second.

No.

I need to stop.

I just have to stop.

He can't control me anymore. Now, I am the one who has charges.

Fuck, cigarettes aren't helping either.

~

I'm much calmer in the morning as I smile to myself in the mirror and walk down the stairs. Everyone's sitting around the table, eating breakfast.

Only then, when I see my mother's angry face, do I remember that we had a fight yesterday. Harry made me forget everything..

Harry.

He's here, too. Sitting next to Stivens, eating chicken wings as he looks up and smiles at me. He does really think that everything's alright, doesn't he?

"Come, sit next to me," Liam pats a sit next to him and I oblige, crossing a dining room to get there. Right in front of Perrie, what a faith.

"So, your mother told us what had happened yesterday." Giuseppe starts when I take the first bite of meat. They decided that I am not allowed to eat or what?

"Of course she did," I say, still chewing my food.

"Act like an adult," Giuseppe warns. "We want you to apologize to Perrie."

"Of course you want." I continue eating.

"Cassandra-

"Perrie, I'm sorry," I interrupt him. "Can I please continue eating now?"

"She's right," Zayn surprises me by saying. "Let her finish breakfast, then I'm going to talk to her privately."

Giuseppe just nods and I roll my eyes.

"They're getting on your nerves, aren't they?" Liam chuckles quietly.

"Isn't it obvious?" 

"That's why I'm asking." He laughs again.

"Right now you're getting on my nerves, too." I say in a low voice.

"Oh no, no, we don't want that." He sticks his tongue out and I roll my eyes again, jokingly this time.

"Continue eating." Liam wiggles his eyebrows and I shake my head as I reach out to take a bread. 

When I look up, my eyes lock with Harry's and for a second, I feel my heart skipping a beat, but then he quickly looks away and I remind myself that I'm no longer allowed to feel things like this towards him. Everything's over and the only thing, that I should feel is hatred and a want of revenge.