Chapter 4
Another cold and sad night without him, I can feel my heart calling for him.
Seeking for security, watch as I start panting.
At the sound of every alarm early in the morning, I knelt down and started praying.
Opening my eyes in the morning, getting off my knees and going off looking for him while calling.
It is said that God hears our hearts, all we need to do is take a moment with him and let him know that we don't have the words.
All my heart wanted was to have a complete family again, which meant healing my dad and getting rid of all the pain.
At 3 o'clock past morning, my family and I would start praying.
My eyes would be filled with tears every time, waiting and praying for a miracle.
Days and nights had passed, and my father wasn't yet healed.
His condition seemed to be getting worse, and every day that hurt me more.
"This bed smells like death," said my dad. How painful he must have felt while lying in that bed.
Too desperate and attached to my father, that I promised God that if he healed him I would do whatever.
In that dark period of frightening time, my mother hardly even ate.
Seeing my family in that state, especially my own mother it made my heart ache.
The agonizing pain I felt, had torn my soul apart.
Too young to watch my father, so my mother can at least go take a breather.
Too pathetic and useless, that I failed to help because I was too worthless.
