𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐨𝐦

incorrect quotes [dsmp #2]

ranboo: What are your three best qualities?
tubbo: I'm hot, I have soft hair, and sometimes I cry because I love my friends.

dream: I've been here in jail so long I think I've lost my mind.
dream: The days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months.
dream: How long have I been in here now? Almost a year?
punz: This is Monopoly.

fundy: I have one brain cell and it bounces around in my skull like a windows screen saver.
fundy: When it hits a corner perfect, I'm allowed one good idea.

quackity: wilbur, I have a great idea.
wilbur: Let's hear it.
quackity: We trick ranboo and tubbo to go out on a date together.
wilbur: YES!
wilbur: And hey, if that doesn't work out, maybe you and me could go out, get some drinks—
quackity, hitting them with a book: THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU.

tubbo: To be honest, I'm kinda pissed that I'm not asleep in bed next to the love of my life in a cottage with no obligations other than watering my vegetable garden.

bbh: You need to stop swearing so much.
tommy: Shut the fuck up.
bbh: Yeah, that's not how you do it.
tommy: Alright sorry. It's just that it's hard not to swear. The words just creep up on me when I least expect it.
bbh: Now now, don't be like that. Just replace the swear words with 'beep' and you'll be fine.
tommy: Shit the beep up.
bbh:
tommy: SHUT, DAMMIT! I MEANT SHUT!

tommy: You didn't cry when bambi's mother died?!
purpled, sarcastically: Yes, it was very sad when the guy stopped drawing the deer.

wilbur: I'm hot, I'm tall, I'm gay, and I'm on my theatre kid arc.

bbh: I'm not mad, I just need to know why you two had a fake ID.
dream: *Incoherent mumbling*
bbh: Huh?
sapnap: ...You need to be 18 to hold the puppies at PetCo.

punz: I'm here for the cult stuff.
antfrost: How did you find us?
punz: I saw your ad on craigslist.

tommy: Truth or dare?
bbh: Truth!
tommy: Do you-
skeppy: I dare you to kiss me.
bbh: *kisses skeppy*
tommy, to niki: He said "truth", right?

slime: I desire moisture.
quackity: Please just say "I want water" like a normal person.

dream: I've been expecting you, techno.
techno: How did you do that without turning around?
dream: Let's just say the first few people I did that to were not you.

phil: Hey, what have you two been up to?
tommy: We were helping ranboo write their vows, but they kicked us out because wilbur was making inappropriate suggestions.
wilbur: How is "tubbo, I love your sweet ass" inappropriate?

fundy, trying to flirt with dream: I think both of our families suck.

slime: Hold on! I'm having one of those things... a headache with pictures.
purpled: What the fuck?
quackity: He's having an idea.

eret: I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone.
fundy: Mine just says "fundy no."
eret: I want you to apply it to every possible situation.