𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐨𝐦

incorrect quotes [dsmp #1]

tommy: Thanks for opening my message and not responding.
wilbur: All good bro, any time.
tommy: fuck you

tubbo: Good morning. As you begin your day, remember that violence is always an option and often the answer.
ranboo:
tubbo:
ranboo: ...Please, go back to bed.

tubbo: You know, you were right
tommy: About what specifically, 'cause I'm right about a lot of things

skeppy: Today, tubbo said a lot of swear words, so bbh said that he was going to wash tubbo's mouth out with soap. tubbo replied, "It's okay, I like the taste of soap". Turns out, they've been putting soap on their lips to blow bubbles.

quackity: Fine! I don't give a shit!
slime: You seem to give a lot of shit for someone who claims not to give a shit.

tommy: I just learned a way to get stuff on the cheap. Steal it!

george: Why did you guys dress up as each other for Halloween?
sapnap: he was the scariest thing I could think of!
dream: sap said to go as something stupid.

tubbo: What do you call a dictionary on drugs?
tommy: If you say 'addict-ionary' I swear I will hurt you.
tubbo: I was actually going to say 'high definition' but your answer's way better.

niki: Hey ranboo, what're you looking for?
ranboo: My will to live.
*tubbo walks into the room, michael on his shoulders*
ranboo: Oh, there it is.

punz: I would do anything for money.
*later*
punz, covered in blood: THIS STATEMENT STILL STANDS

quackity: You ever see something that changes your life and you're just like "huh.."
karl: I saw you two :)
sapnap: Honestly that's so cute and sweet but it kinda makes this awkward because we were gonna show you a picture of tubbo in a goat onesie

bbh, dashing into the room: WHY AREN'T THE DISHES IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER?!
skeppy: ...What does that even mean?!

fundy: How do I make a date really romantic?
eret: Be mysterious.
fundy: Okay!
*later, while on a date with dream*
dream: So where are we going?
fundy: None of your fucking business

quackity: Today, tubbo took my phone, and in five minutes, they sent high resolution close-up photos of ranboo to the following people: wilbur, fundy, tommy, the neighbors, the bank, my accountant, San Diego Blood Bank, and Shake Shack's text bot.

wilbur: Hey, do you know the password to quackity's computer?
slime: Fuck you, wilbur.
wilbur: Hey!!
slime: No, you misunderstood, the password is "fuckyouwilbur".
wilbur: Oh, no numbers? Not very safe.

ranboo: So the other day I sent tubbo out to get us some gas.
ranboo: And instead of getting gas, he got us novelty cookie cutters.
ranboo: Now everything we eat is shaped like a dinosaur.
ranboo: ...
ranboo: I love him so much.