KITSUNE

➖ Daybreak: Mourning

AYA HAD NO WORDS TO EXPRESS THE EMOTIONS SHE WAS FEELING. She felt cold and sad. She knew those were emotions, yet she felt like no emotion dwelled within her. Many times, she experienced a sudden loss or change in her life. And no matter how many times it had happened to her, she still could not get used to it.

The harsh reality was that in a silent war, we lose people we care for. In one night, she lost Noro. He had barely ever heard him speak and that was when she was just acquainted with Eto. He was a ghoul known once as Noroi and was entrusted with raising Eto by her father. When Aya was given to Eto, Noro protected her when he could – mostly when she was placed in such a situation that could have resulted in her being severely hurt. Aya never appreciated him enough – but he was a true guarding of hers. He died giving Eto time for her fun.

Shirazu. He was not hers to lose and he was not supposed to be part of her emotions, yet here he was, still alive in her mind, hurting her. He died killing Noro. How theatrical... Aya did not know whether she wanted to cry or laugh at the circumstances in which she lost two people that she found dear. She had difficulty processing what had happened and how much her absence influenced the events.

In all that had happened, two things were positive. Shuu Tsukiyama lives another day, along with his father. And Ken Kaneki had awoken from the dream in which he was Haise Sasaki. However, the awakening was cold – Ken Kaneki came back, but he came back like an empty shell of a man without any emotions. Aya remembers the eyes of Ken Kaneki she saw that night when she saved Eto – those eyes were so cold.

Aya looked around the graveyard. So many tombs belonged to Ghoul Investigators who have lost their lives fighting or dying of natural death. It made Aya wonder just how many Ghoul Investigators had been buried and how many of them she killed. Such a cruel thing to think on such a day... Aya scolded herself for being so apathetic.

"He's not here." Aya looked at Urie Kuki with a question mark. "Sasaki." He added.

Even though it was not Haise Sasaki she was looking for, she did not want to deny it. Somehow, she was disappointed in Ken Kaneki. A man to whom he was a mentor and friend died, and yet, he did not even show up to his funeral. Why am I even here? Aya questioned herself, finding herself conflicted with her own emotions. Why am I here?

"Why is he not here?"

"Because he is a son of a bitch." Urie hissed, his voice low enough for only Aya to hear and not the rest that was mourning the dead. "Shirazu died and he blamed me – He blamed me for my incompetence." Urie squeezed his hands into a fist. "He –"

"Urie." A hand came to Urie's shoulder and a gentle grip came along with it. "Shirazu died fighting for something. Don't let his death be in vain."

Urie stared at her. He felt his hands relaxing and his mind began to focus on the gentle strokes of her thumb against his shoulder. He doesn't deserve you. Urie thought as he watched Hayami. What did you even see in him? He wondered and he also wondered how she was coping with the fact that Haise did not even reach out to her to inform her about Shirazu's death. It was Saiko who did it.

Aya noticed the long stare that she was receiving from Urie. She saw emotions within his eyes that made them soften the more they stared at one another. Aya was first to look away and towards the grave that belonged to Ginshi Shirazu. Akira was comforting Saiko as she cried. Tooru stood behind them – trying to stay strong but even he was breaking apart.

"Are you not going to join them?" Aya wondered.

"No. His body is not even in there." I know. "Aogiri Tree stole his body when it was being transported." I know.