Wait For Your Love - Troy Otto // FTWD

6 - ❝ -- 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯. ❞

last night, after the pair had returned from the lake, troy gave riley some clean clothes to change into and let her use his bathroom to take a shower. he gave her a simple oversized t-shirt, some black socks and a pair of boxers he swore were clean. riley was extremely hesitant at first but knew she had no other choice. she did not want to go commando nor wear dirty, damp underwear to bed.

the morning sun beamed off of riley's face as faint yet aggressive voices argued downstairs. she groaned, feeling more than annoyed by the light and the bickering. she turned in troy's bed, stuffing her face in his pillow. his scent tranquilized her almost completely.

she recalled how she and troy whispered-argued for the first ten minutes over who would sleep on the bed. riley was insistent on taking the floor as it wasn't her room but troy continuously objected. he refused to stand down. riley was so tired, she just let him win.

soon, troy barged back into his room. when he saw riley flinch, he carefully closed the door. for a second there he forgot he had someone in his room. the sight of her conciliated him a bit. "is everything okay?' the girl asked groggily.

"no." troy answered.

riley rose up, making troy instantly regret his bluntness. "what happened?"

"i'll tell you later, just go back to sleep." he insisted before going through his dresser.

"i'm rested enough. tell me, what's wrong?" riley asked again.

"go back to sleep." troy repeated. riley rolled her eyes. why does he have to be so stubborn... she took the covers off herself and quietly made her way over to the boy. "riley..." he warned.

"troy, tell me what's wrong." riley said in a gentle tone.

troy sighed, not being able to resist caving into her. "martha and russell are dead."

riley had to think back before being able to recall them. they were the elderly couple that lived up the hill from the cabin. "how?" riley asked.

"their house caught on fire." troy answered. "jake and i and a few others tried putting it out but it was no use. the house was completely engulfed."

riley wondered how on earth she could've slept through that. before the ranch, the sound of even a small snap would wake her. how tired and how safe must she have felt to be able to let her guard down and sleep through chaos. riley looked at troy, seeing how much this angered him. she knows what it feels like to be helpless, to feel like you're not in control. it was a shitty feeling. "i'm sorry that you lost them."

troy looked at riley, trying to recollect himself. "it's fine. people die all the time. all that we can really do is try to move on and not let their deaths be in vain."

"yeah, exactly." riley nodded. he was so aware of death and he was so okay with it. she wondered how he must've felt when his mother died. she wondered if her death was the very first one he had to experience. and she wondered how long it had been since his mother passed considering how desensitized he was when it came to the topic of the dead.

riley could relate in a way as she had made peace with her own death a long time ago, way before the apocalypse. she would yearn for the end, for the emotions, even the pain of feeling nothing, to stop. riley would lock herself away, play her records and curl up under her sheets until the sun went down. her mother would have to force her out of bed to eat, to shower, to go to school and work, all while spewing belittling remarks about her daughters depression and suicidal tendencies.

the old world suffocated her. from capitalism to politics to friendships to relationships to family issues, it was all so very draining. the end of the world brought her out of the state she was in. it dragged her from the pits of feeling so helplessly lost and useless. riley was still sick and there were still times when she felt lost and useless but when you're constantly on the run and trying to keep the people you love most in this world alive, you rarely have time to give those sick thoughts much attention.