Dinner on Friday

55. Carla

TO KILL OR NOT TO KILL

I was Donna now, so I couldn't let my guard down. After suffering many counts of betrayal and deceit, trust was something I learned not to give away blindly. Especially now, when the world thought I was vulnerable because of my wheelchair.

The search for Alonzo was tasking, but I was out on the street every day with Dante and the few loyal clan men looking for him. And every day, I found myself having to prove I could be Donna. It was quite an undertaking, having to confront and defy the judgemental looks and jokes, but I was determined not to be confined by them.

The rhythmic creak of my wheelchair against uneven side streets in a neighborhood I was unfamiliar with was an echo of the defiance burning within me. I wasn't giving up on Alonzo. Or my marriage. Or using my voice to make a difference.

Bruce had gone back to the United States, and I was happy he was able to spend time with his woman again. Sergio, on the other hand, was always nearby, his presence calming. We didn't talk much, not wanting to arouse my husband's jealousy, but Sergio had become my right-hand man.

We were in a sketchy neighborhood, but I wasn't scared. Dante was at the end of the alley talking to a couple who seemed wary to answer his questions. I figured the only reason they were engaging with him was because they feared for their lives. Dressed entirely in black, my husband had a menacing presence.

I looked up at Sergio. "I need your help with something."

"Yes, Donna."

"Find out where Lianna lives. I want to pay her a visit."

"What kind of visit?"

"Not a friendly one."

Sergio glanced at Dante, who was now walking toward us. "Does your husband know about this visit?"

"No." I smiled. "And I would like to keep it that way."

Dante and I were working through our issues, but I couldn't afford to have any surprises in the future. It was going to take years to rebuild our relationship, and I couldn't do that while worrying about Lianna still possibly carrying his child.

"We have a lead," Dante said once he was within talking distance. "Alonzo is in a foster house not too far from here."

I exhaled. "Oh, thank God. Annabella's going to be so relieved. Where is this house?"

"You're not going," Dante said gruffly, and I squared my shoulders, silently questioning his decision. He eyed Sergio before explaining himself. "I don't know if I can trust the people who give me the information."

Same here, baby. I don't trust your source regarding Lianna's pregnancy.

"I get it. I won't get in your way. I have last-minute plans with Jenna today, so I think I'll head home to get ready."

He ran his hand over my hair. "Be careful. Take the car. I'll ride back with Schipper. "

I nodded and waited for his kiss on my cheek. His lips were soft and warm, and all I wanted to do was turn my head and kiss him properly, but one of the things we discussed about moving forward was taking it slow physically.

Torture.

That's what it was.

And I hated every moment of it.

Every touch that wasn't a kiss felt like a tease, and every kiss that wasn't passionate felt like an ache. The restraint was excruciating, a constant reminder of the distance we still needed to cover,