Letters - A Phillip Hamilton X Male Reader

80: Carnations.

..for a few more moments, the two continued to feed the birds with occasional chatter. By now beneath the glow of the New York sunlight, several doves had gathered before the wooden bench. Warmth enveloped them-making them begin to sweat beneath their coats. Y/N found himself leaning foward, and tossing random pieces of bread Phillip had given him onto the stone-tiled floor.

Yet.. his thoughts only carried the feeling of familiarity that was being triggered by all of his senses. He smelt the scent of.. stone. A sweet scent that hung in the air from the Freesia Flowers surrounding them. The scent of the crisp bread that would land with a simple thud on the floor.

The sight of light bathing the stone from beneath, shimmering it into a pale grey light. The looming wooden and brick buildings from across the street. The nearby harbor that he could barely see behind a few other structures.

The feeling of.. warmth that clung to his skin, beads of sweat trickling down his face. And the occasion breeze of air that flew past. The taste of the warm flow of oxygen that would sometimes force itself into his mouth anytime he opened it. The sound of the bread thudding against the floor. The sound of the doves chirping.

"..dude."

..and.. the sound of Phillip's voice.

Y/N lifted his head, gazing in his direction with circles still visibly clear beneath his eyes. Phillip was holding out bread yet again, cocking his head to the side with a puzzled expression on his freckled face.

"You gonna take the bread, or what?" Asked he.

Y/N paused, struggling to force himself to come up with words. As his mind raced, his eyes only went to his lap, and he let out an exhausted sigh. "I'm.. look, I-I don't know. I don't really.. want to feed birds right here. And.. right now." He leaned foward again, resting his palm against his cheek.

"..what do ya mean?" Phillip lowered his hand, seeming a bit more confused at the stammering that came from the usually calm man sitting beside him.

Y/N swallowed, and let out a sigh. "..nothing, I suppose. I just.. feel.." He paused. Would it really be a smart thing to do? To tell Phillip of why he didn't want to be here? There was a part of him that wanted to so he could just leave, but another part of him anxiously thought that Phillip might use him as some source of mockery just for his one moment of vulnerability.

"I don't really want to.. be here."

That was all he would say. For the sake of not perhaps humiliating himself.

"Why not?" Phillip inquired.

"I wouldn't-I don't.. I don't want to tell you." Y/N replied, looking down at the ground as his hands began to rub at the upper part of his arms. "I don't even know if I can."

Phillip's brows furrowed, his gaze hardening as if he were about to spit out another sarcastic remark-but he bit his lip in some attempt to stop the words that normally would have escaped his mouth. "I.." Phillip thought, and then nodded, "Well, okay. Where else would you wanna go then?"

..huh. That was an oddly calm response from someone so temperamental.

"..hm. I.. well, I believe there is a lake around here. Maybe we could try feeding the ducks there if we're allowed to do so." Y/N suggested, letting his eyes flutter away from Phillip's face.

"Alright." Phillip shrugged. Y/N heard something begin to shuffle from beside him. Some of the doves gave a startled flinch, and flew away to a different spot, or flew away entirely. In the corner of his eye, he saw Phillip standing up, holding the bag of bread in his grip still.

Y/N found his eyes darting over to Phillip, who stood and dusted his tight pants off. Phillip looked at him-a twitch of a neutral frown on his pink lips.