Letters - A Phillip Hamilton X Male Reader

81: Pride.

When they finally reached the white bench that seemed almost porcelain in the glittering glow of the sun, Y/N felt Phillip release his hand. And with a hesitant step foward, Y/N took a slow seat on the seat of the bench. Lifting his head—he let his eyes just.. stare. Taking in the sights, and taking in the sounds.

The bluish-green pond. The distant ducks that glided along the waters. The vibrant green grass that appeared to have some straight from some painting of a nature scene. The path that stretched along the lake where the few other people present had walked.

The calming ambience of chirping.. bird chirping. The scent of flowers—carnations. The noise of the water from the pond flowing. It was calming, admittedly. But calming was never a word Y/N thought he'd be using to describe an experience with his own enemy. In fact, why.. why was Phillip doing this? Normally, he would have at least bickered with him. But he'd barely been doing that the entire time.

He looked off to the side. He saw Phillip place the bag of bread on the seat, his hands clenching awkwardly. Straightening his body, he swallowed, and an odd look of something.. nervous that Y/N didn't recognize in this normally cocky man began to appear in his freckled face.

Y/N scanned his eyes over the taller man's form, before letting a sign escape his mouth while he leaned foward. He rested his arms over his legs, a dry but soft tone tinted in his words. "..how come you wanted to feed birds?"

"Uh.." Phillip hesitated. "I dunno. I just kinda wanted to." He shrugged, scratching the back of his head.

"..hmm.."

"Be—besides, you seemed kinda tired anyway. I didn't wanna have to wait for you to decide on some other boring place to go.."

"Boring..? I thought I recalled you enjoying that one time we went to the library together."

"Pssh.. I was enjoyin' the book. Not being around you."

"..."

The slight aching feeling in his head from before began to return. Lifting his hands to his face, an exhausted sigh escaped his mouth, and he lowered his head. "..hah.."

"What?"

"Nothing. I—still don't really want to talk about it."

"...mm."

He could feel Phillip's gaze upon him, and he hated it. It felt like even the slightest stare from that man was a sign of being judged. It felt like being looked at him at all was a sign of being looked down upon or mocked. He avoided the blue-eyed man's gaze, looking to the other side. But the sight of the pink flowers on the grass from behind the bench filled his vision.

He only squinted, furrowing his brows as something wet began to practically beg to seep out of his eyes.

He felt a hand place itself on his shoulder just then, and he lifted his head. A freckled face stared back at him—the cocky smirk Phillip always wore now replaced by a soft frown.

"Dude—what's wrong?"

"..I.. said I didn't want to talk about it. If you had ears, you.. you would have known that." Y/N replied, his flat voice beginning to waver. Damnit. Why was it so hard to keep himself under control all of the sudden? Emotions weren't normally this hard to just keep down.

Phillip didn't respond for a moment, his now soft gaze of oceans that appeared to calm more by the second peering down at his form. Phillip appeared to swallow, looking down at his lap.

"..look, man." He sighed. "I dunno what's bothering you, and.. if I'm bein' honest, this feels kinda hard to say. But if there's something you need to talk about, I don't mind listening."