play the song above to add to the mood! black mountain by wave to earth
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CHAPTER 6 - PUREST SMILE ──────────────────
HE'S STILL THE LOVE OF MY LIFE. Though I am not alive anymore, my non-existing heart still beats for him, and only him.
I love his laugh, how age has deepened his voice into a supple husk. I love when he takes off his blindfold, because being allowed to see his entrancing blue eyes feels like a reward.
I love how much taller he's gotten. How I can hide behind his broad shoulders or lie into his hardened chest and feel safe. I love his new hairstyle. How it's shaved at the back and floats up all day until he gets home, then it falls gently back on his forehead. He looks like 18 year-old Satoru again with his hair down, it's adorable.
I love how he looks at me. I love how he says my name. I love that he is willing to risk his life to protect me, to keep me around. I love his hands and how rough his palms feel.
I love how he loves. I love that he loves me. I love that I love him. I love him. I love us.
He's still my home. Always has, always will be.
I want Satoru to love me forever, I do. But not with chains of guilt and regret suffocating him, weighing him down.
I want him to heal.
Over the years, I've noticed his smile fade. I still love his smile, how the corners have little lines in them now that he's older. But...He's lost so many people. Ones he loved. He still smiles, yet it no longer looks untouched by the wear of the world.
Others may not see it, but I've adored his smile since I first met him. I see that it's no longer pure like it was when he was young, innocent of the terrors that laid before him.
I want...to see it again.
୨୧
Everywhere we go, she's holding onto me. As long as I'm near her, she holds my hand. My pinkie. My wrist. My arm. She's always clinging to me. Like she's glued to me. It's assuring, honestly. I know she is still here. That this isn't a dream. That she's not gone forever like I thought she'd be when I first saw her dead body lying in the morgue that day.
I've started feeling happier knowing she's okay. Relieved, that she doesn't feel resentment towards me for her life ending the way it did. Grateful, that I am given a second chance with the love of my life. I see everything in color again, painted by the beautiful palette of her existence.
The fact that I can think so deeply of someone else other than myself is absurd to me!
୨୧
"Shoko? You...asked to see me." Y/n knocked on the metal door of the lab, Shoko sitting in a corner with a laptop on her lap.
The woman looked up, then smiled. "Hi y/n. Been a minute, hasn't it?"
Y/n walked towards the doctor as Shoko used her foot to pull out another chair. The curse took a seat in it while Shoko set her computer back on her desk. She let out a long yawn, her eyes glossing over with tears. "Excuse me, I'm a bit tired. I hardly sleep nowadays."
"That's okay..."
"You can speak now. That's good."
"...Yes."
"Is it troubling? Satoru says you pause a lot."
"I am...still getting used to...talking again."
"You use cursed energy when speaking, right? Is that exhausting?"
"...A bit...It's much more draining to use...as...a curse."
Shoko's lips pressed together. "It's depressing to hear you refer to yourself as that."
"As what?"
"A curse..."
Y/n's head tilted to the side, examining the way Shoko's eyelids faltered sadly. "Don't be upset...that is...what I am...No helping it." She smiled, reaching out and holding her old best friends' hand.
Shoko watched intently as y/n's freezing palm rested against the back of her hand. "Remember when we visited that summer festival?"
Y/n smiled with a soft giggle. "We ate so much food...that day."
"Yeah, Suguru was stuck on the toilet for an hour when we got back home!' Shoko laughed. "He thought he could defeat his intolerance to lactose for a day."
"Suguru...was always stubborn like that." She chuckled.
"The fireworks that evening were gorgeous too!"
"Indeed...I haven't...watched fireworks...since then." Y/n whispered, a tinge of nostalgia coating her tongue.
Shoko grinned, but a short sigh followed. Your life... It was taken far too soon. No one deserves to die the way you did, but you especially didn't deserve it...
Shoko turned her hand over to hold y/n's. "Hey..."
"Yes?"
"Why do I not feel exhausted anymore?"
"..."
"...Did you heal me?"
"..."
"Kugisaki and Fushiguro visited me the other day. Said they had been healed by your touch. Satoru said you healed yourself as well....
You learned how to heal not only physical wounds, but emotional ones too, haven't you? That's what you spent the past 10 years learning to do?"
Y/n's expression flattened guilty, aware that her best friend had finally figured her out.
"Y/n. Be honest with me." Shoko pulled her chair closer to the curses', holding both of y/n's hands into her palms. "...Do you plan on...
healing Satoru?"
"...Curses become curses...because of strong negative emotions...I must be a curse...because someone had a strong....emotion about me...or my death...I'm not sure what emotion...it is that Satoru has...about me that...forced me to become...a curse...But...I don't want him...to feel burdened...or guilty...anymore...So I'll help him heal..."
"...But you love him. And he loves you. Wouldn't you...I don't know, want to stay with him forever?"
Y/n only smiled softly, a beautiful grin that reminded Shoko of the innocence that still wielded within her friend. "I'm doing this...because I love him so much...For the past decade, he has visited me every day...just to talk to me...I don't need him to spend anymore of his life...making me happy...when I'm already...the happiest in the world!"
Shoko bit her inner cheek as her lips threatened to quiver. It's a miracle that you turned into a curse, but managed to protect your soul..."Will you tell Gojo?...What you're doing, I mean."
Y/n shook her head. "You know Satoru...He'll beg me not to...But my only wish now...is...that when he's healed...
