The Wolf Lord's Mate

Chapter Twenty-One

I somehow managed to make it back downstairs without being seen; a great relief indeed, as I had no way of explaining why I was appearing in the midmorning with the Lord's throw wrapped around me. I shoved it under my pillow, unable to make myself get rid of it. Perhaps it would help me sleep, the fabric still soaked in Nathaniel's delectable scent, and I had no intentions of returning to his study, not after he found me in the morning.

My entire body was still electrified by the attention of his roving gaze, my breasts sensitive and swollen, practically begging to be touched. They were not the only part of my body begging for touch, but I had realized quickly that trying to satisfy myself after my dreams about Nathaniel only made the ache worse. I knew the only person who could help me feel relief, and I had no intention of letting him touch me again anytime soon.

Dressing for the day quickly, I hurried up to my sewing room. I had left it a mess the previous afternoon, my sadness having overtaken every other sense, my needles and thread still strewn across my workbench. I started with tidying up, letting the simple organizational tasks help center my mind and settle my racing thoughts.

It was overwhelming to think about how much had changed over the course of a single day. The last time I had been in my sewing room, I had been a wreck thinking about Nathaniel's mate, when in reality I had only been jealous of myself.

Mother would have told me to be careful for what I wished for. Now I knew that I was Nathaniel's mate, and I was desperate to go back to my previous state of naivety. I had realized too late that uncertainty was more appealing than certainty, that all of those possibilities that I had dreamed of were dying one by one, replaced with only one single remainder—Him.

As I finished tidying up, I gave one last look around the room, making sure I didn't miss anything. My gaze slid past the door before something caught my attention, something that I had not noticed before.

It was at that moment and that moment only when I realized that there was a keyhole in the door. One that I did not have a key for.
When Isa passed by a bit later, I asked her about it. As one of the Lord's housekeepers, she had keys to most of the rooms in the manor, but she looked confused when I pointed it out.

"That's curious." Isa narrowed her eyes at the doorknob. It was a newer and shiner piece of hardware than what could be found on the other doors, "I don't think there used to be a locking mechanism on this door. His Lordship must have had it replaced when he had your sewing room set up."

"What did this room used to be?" I crossed my arms, leaning against the doorframe.

"A guest room," Isa said, "Most of them don't lock. The only other rooms with locks are the Lord's study and his chambers, and the library. And this room, I suppose. Everything else is open."

"And you don't have a key?" I asked.

"No," Isa shook her head, "Samuel has the key to the Lord's study and I have the key to library—only the Lord has the key to his own chambers. But this room—I certainly don't have it. I could ask Samuel if he does, but I imagine he would have told me if he did."

"It's no bother," I attempted a smile, but it was difficult with my growing discomfort, "I appreciate your help."

"Of course." Isa looked at me curiously as she left, but she didn't say anything, and I was glad she didn't. I had no desire to attempt to explain to her why I was asking—or, I suppose, lie to her. I had no intention of telling anyone about Nathaniel's proclamation.

Isa did inadvertently answer my question, however—Nathaniel had to have the key. But what was the purpose of a lock on the door if I did not also have a key?

He had harped on safety to an almost irritating extent, so surely it would be beneficial for my own safety if I had a copy? The only other answer to why Nathaniel would have a key instead of me was if he wanted to trap me inside.

If that was the case, then my initial instincts about Wolves had always been true. That their adoration and supposed love of their mates was only a mask for the true extent of their obsession. That Nathaniel intended to keep me trapped in this place despite my desires or opinions otherwise.

What did my opinion really matter, when faced with the opinion of a Wolf. Of a Lord? He had said it himself, that he would keep me in his bed all day if I let him, tucked away in a series of rooms only he could access.

There was a dark wanting inside of me that thrilled at the idea of it. Of being kept in a constant state of delirious pleasure by Nathaniel, of never having to think or worry about anything that did not involve him. It was not a sane thought, but I could not deny how aroused it made me.

That level of obsession with a partner was dangerous, and I was afraid that once I gave in to Nathaniel that I would never find my way out again. I had maintained my independence for so long, even before Mother died, and I did not know who I was if I was not alone.

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