The Wolf Lord's Mate

Chapter Thirty

Nathaniel and I ate in a comfortable silence. Well, semi-comfortable silence. The thought of going to bed afterwards was still worrying me, but I had adjusted to being alone in Nathaniel's presence on the long ride. There was no awkwardness in our quiet meal, although I did have to keep myself from laughing at just how quickly Nathaniel devoured his food. I had never seen him eat before, and despite the fact that his portion was at least twice the size of mine, he finished before I did.

I found myself lingering over the last few bites—chewing slowly and methodically, fiddling with the crust of bread still on my plate. The sky had gone dark, and the interior of the cabin was lit only by a few candles and the fire that Nathaniel had started while waiting for me to finish.

He sat patiently across the table from me, a look of pure contentment on his face. Nathaniel's countenance was striking in the low light, the glowing flames of the fireplace catching at the hard angles of his jaw and the contour of his cheeks. But his eyes—a pair glowing emeralds that swirled with pure awe and a touch of satisfaction as he watched me eat, perfectly happy to wait for as long as I needed. I would have thought he'd be antsy to whisk me off to bed, but he did not seem hurried in the slightest.

I couldn't quite figure out why he seemed so peaceful. Perhaps being away from the stresses of the Manor had put him at ease, or perhaps the ride had calmed him—although it'd had the opposite effect on me.

"This place," I took a small bite of the crust, "You seem quite content here."

"I've waited a long time for this," Nathaniel's eyes glinted with adoration, "Just to sit and enjoy the presence of my mate. Being with you makes me content, simply having you to myself." The bread turned to ash in my mouth, and I set the last bit of crust back down on the plate. There was so much raw emotion in his voice, his eyes, in his simple actions—it was almost too much.

I could not return it. I would not return it.

The physical pull between us was one thing, and lust was an enemy easily identified. But I had no clue how to deal with Nathaniel's feelings towards me. As a human, love was something that the bond could not force; I would feel lonely without him and safe in his presence, simple emotions like that were controlled by the bond completely, but love—love was the one thing I still had control over.

My arousal might win out against my better instincts, but my heart was still mine to guard.

I could not love him. I would not love him.

"I think I'm done," I whispered, pushing the plate away, "Thank you—or thank Patty, I suppose." Nathaniel smiled warmly, popping the last bit of my uneaten bread in his mouth before depositing the plates in the basin by the window.

"I'll wash up in the morning," Nathaniel stretched his shoulders, rubbing at his back, "I think we've both earned a bit of rest."

"Rest, yes." I stood up, fiddling with my dress as I glanced over at the ladder steps on the far wall. "I don't mind sleeping down here," I blurted, "That chair was quite comfortable, and we would still be close enough to one another that our sleep shouldn't suffer too terribly."

Nathaniel waited for me to finish, a small smile raising at the corner of his mouth. "Come to bed with me, Mira."

"I don't think that's a good idea," I said, eyeing Nathaniel warily as he sauntered towards me, his strides slow and self-assured, "I have no intentions of participating in anything—untoward."

"Untoward?" Nathaniel chuckled, "There is no need to be so prudish, my darling, I don't know why so many humans view intimacy as some horrible secret. I think you would find it quite enjoyable, really, especially with the sort of male who gains his own pleasure by helping you achieve yours. Who wants nothing more than to make you feel good. To see how you squirm and moan and beg beneath him."

"Nathaniel." I was a blushing mess at this point.

"Sex is quite natural." Nathaniel merely shrugged.

"Perhaps between lovers," I said "But in case I need to remind you, we are not lovers."

"I only wish to sleep next to you, that is all. It's just a bed," Nathaniel traced his fingertips over the wood-slab counter top, "There's nothing to be afraid of." Nothing to be afraid of? Climbing into bed with a predator who looked at me like I was his favorite meal, in a cabin completely isolated from the rest of the town? Oh, there was certainly something to be afraid of.

I feared his intentions, but most of all, I feared my own. The grasp I had on my self control was tenuous at best, and being in that close proximity to him might just drive me mad. Although, I had survived the horse ride despite my overwhelming arousal, and I hoped Nathaniel would know not to push his luck if I did agree. The problem was that agreeing might give him false hope—create expectations that I had no intention of fulfilling.

"Understand that if I do go up those steps," I started, "That it is not a promise or agreement about anything. Nothing will change my opinion about your claim."

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