Recovering from a tragic accident, Aspen Preston is barely floating over the surface. The remains of her father's death haunt her while she tries to avoid the end of her mother's wrath. She tries to uphold the flawless image for the sake of her fami...
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tw; mentioned abuse
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𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐃 𝐈𝐒 beyond frazzled.
I'd gone straight home this morning after dropping Aspen home, thinking I'd feel normal again after a while.
I was so fucking wrong.
It was bad enough that I was actively seeking her out most of the time, or planning to. But the girl is harrassing me in my sleep. I could hardly go ten minutes without her appearing in my mind and it was sickening. It's not me. It's not who I am.
Over and over again, I would tell myself that it would go away. It would wash over and I'd be myself again. But it's genuinely getting to the point where I am concerned for my own wellbeing.
Even worse, how concerned I am for her.
Then she had to go and cry in front of me. And the way it made me feel wasn't anything I could describe. I was so far from ready for that. Before, I'd been telling myself that I had it under control and that I could handle anything she'd throw at me. I could at least lie to myself.
Then the tears came. And everything I thought I had figured out came falling apart. I'd even found myself fighting back tears at one point.
From the start, I could see it in her that something was missing. Her gaze was hollow. It was so clear to me. Whenever there was just a flicker in her eyes, it almost forced me to keep it going. I wasn't trying to fix her, I just ached to see her feel anything other than that emptiness. It consumed me in a way that I just couldn't let it go.
The only person to blame was myself.
I'd watched her for a year and half before even speaking to her, for fucks sake. Constantly telling myself that it was purely curiosity. Clearly it was so much more. I can't tell whether it's a good or bad thing and it keeps me up at night.
To top it all off, I have an aching feeling in my chest that I can't place. I can't tell if something is wrong or if I've actually just driven myself to the point of insanity.
Either way, I'm driving myself mad.
So, I turned to the one thing that could maybe ease my mind; working out.
I pull back on my final set, lightly groaning as I let my legs rest. Eli is already done, and as usual, is sitting on the floor facing me, claiming to be a 'visual learner'. A poor excuse to not keep up with me. I sigh, leaning forward to rest my arms on my knees.
