short encounters, long thoughts

how delusional does it get? (it doesnt)

so.. been awhile...

and right when i first saw you...

well,

nothing.

yeah sure everyone was like

"she's the prettiest"
that type shit

and i just nodded.
like that's a given.
its not that deep.

the 2nd time, it was the same.
nothing special. nothing that struck me.

but then we arrived and yk shit happened..

you were nice to me.
you matched my energy.
you were pretty.

and then it hit me...

its that feeling again.

what the fuck <3

the way you look at me.
yeah probably nothing special but here i am, turning small shit into a big deal.

at this point ive realized its always when someone looks at me and treats me well.

bro what is up with me ❤️

well its been three days with her... lets hope shit gets better.

i hope stuff happen LMAO

anyways... imma update as the week passes by...

(2 days after)

so uh...
😐😐😐

i give up man 😂

this is for the whole grp lolol

right when i think we're getting along,
it all just resets the next day
like idek what to do

obv theres the core grp
then the 2 that got along now duo
then us 3

theres js something off abt them..
like wtf bru

but anyways back to "her"

well yeah i give up.
or at least im trying.

in my head it goes
"yeah just stop it"
"give it up"
"theres no progress"

but in real time,
when i see her,
its like fuck it why not

😭😭😭

bro this is so hard.

why tf cant i do shit
why cant i just listen to myself 🔫

then in the end it hurts
but its still my fault.

i fall to easy.

but hey, its only been 5 days..

lets see how this goes.

i hope theres progress 🫶
even as a group 🫶

(ugh omfg i get jealous easily too 😭)

cant fight for something that was never mine from the start 😔

(after trip update)

IM DYING....
we're close friends now 😭😭😭
i like her as a friend so mission accomplished?

lol this is so funny 😭😂
we bonded with another person bc turns out one of the other girls in the grp is crazy 😂😂😂

so we a trio now 🫶
my baes
i love them so much
i cant lose them.

so it doesn't get delusional in the end..

ill always be there for them.
i love her.

(H)