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October 29th 2004.
"Johnny's home," the messages echoed in unison from Patrick and Gibsie, setting the day's tone. At 9:15, I hastily dressed in my signature oversized hoodie and black joggers, a familiar yet comforting attire. Ensuring I had all the essentials in my bag: the envelope, ultrasound pictures, the baby's sketchbook, my phone, and purse, I embarked on this significant visit.
Entering Johnny's home, I punched in the code at the side gate, granting myself entry. A gentle knock on the door and a minute later a heartwarming sight as Edel Kavanagh greeted me with joy, her warm presence enveloping the moment.
"Oh Bridget, how are you, darling?" Edel's words carried a genuine concern, setting the stage for the emotional reunion ahead.
"I'm good. Heard Johnny was home," I mention, hoping she gets the memo.
"He is, on bed rest for a while. Wanna see him?" Edel offers kindly.
"Yes, please," I respond gratefully as she ushers me in.
As I remove my shoes at the foot of the stairs, Edel adds, "If you need anything, just shout," before stepping away, leaving a sense of warmth and care in her wake.
I reach the top of the stairs, turning left to position myself right outside Johnny's room. A faint "come in" prompts me to enter, his face lighting up upon seeing me, easing some of my nerves.
"Hi Johnny," I manage, a small smile forming on my lips.
"Hi Bridget," he responds, mirroring the gesture.
"I need to talk to you," I express, clutching my bag tightly.
"Sit down," Johnny gestures towards the left side of the bed.
"Can I close the door?" I ask, hoping for his approval.
"Yeah, of course, don't need to ask," Johnny reassures me.
As I shut the door and sit on the edge of the bed, our proximity contrasting with the emotional distance between us, my eyes begin to well up. Johnny, despite his own discomfort, reaches for my hand, offering solace.
"Hey, don't cry," he comforts me, his touch grounding.
"Sorry... I'm just nervous," I admit, wiping away my tears.
"Right, well, here goes nothing. I'm gonna show you something, and you can't speak till I'm done, okay? I need you to understand," I explain as Johnny nods in understanding.
"Yeah, of course," he responds gently.
Unveiling the sketchbook and ultrasound pictures from my bag, I observe Johnny's reaction, his stillness unsettling me. His hesitant words trail off, met with my silent confirmation, tears betraying my emotions.
"Is it... mine?" Johnny questions, his uncertainty lacing his voice.
"Yeah... I've only ever been with you," I respond, his doubt catching me off guard.
