cruel gods [aemond targaryen]

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The fire didn't cool down as she guided her horse further into the lands, the smoke rising around them. It made her feel powerful in some way. She kept a watchful eye on the sky, feeling the distant breeze of Vhagar's wings give her some sort of relief.

She could not see him directly but she knew his body was turned, watching her as she was guided through the blazes. In the small fires, she could make out the charcoaled bodies of the fallen, she mumbled a quiet prayer as she moved.

"Do you think it stupid?" she asked to no one in particular, though it seemed her steed had other ideas as it huffed in acknowledgement. She nodded her head. "Me too, but we would die if we stayed. Perhaps we will die if we go."

His trots did not falter, she gave him a quick pat. She paused for a moment, surrounded by fire and the breeze of her husband's beast. Talking to a horse, how mad she had turned? They had called her mother insane, how would they describe her talkings with an animal?

She shook her head, looking again for the validation of her husband who had began to turn the huge beast. She watched in awe, the beauty of the war scars she had but her obedient nature had left Maellery sorrowful. A beast throughout her years had no time to rest, trapped in battles and bloodshed.

She had heard plenty of tales of the dragons, how they had masked their riders emotions. She wondered often what Vhagar felt, if anything at all. Is that all she was? A magnificent thing forced to obey her rider? Did she truly have no emotions other than her riders?

Did she want this? Many would argue, sprouting tales of her heroic ways, how she ate more dragons than there were in the world. Surely that meant something, that she knew what she was doing. That she was acting upon her own accord, Right?

She patted her horse again, in truth wanting more comfort than the gods would allow. She looked to the sky with no thoughts in mind. She spoke again, her words more hushed than before. "Do you think we can be happy?"

Her fingers weaved between the reigns, knotting themselves in places. She thought back to the knight, wishing she had his company even if it had sinful intentions. "What do we think this war will bring?"

When the horse neighed again, she continued, her eyes focused on the knots gathered between her fingers. She spoke in a whisper as if sharing a secret. Her mind tutted herself, calling her names, her tongue did not seem to mind much.

"He wants to be king i think. Or- hold some power in the realm." She paused for a moment. "I do not wish for that, i don't want to be queen. Father will- would be happy." She laughed but her eyes betrayed her mouths words, slowly welling with tears.

She did not cry for her father, her mother, Tommen, her husband, helaena or the lost souls that were burnt beneath her feet. For the first time, Maellery Targaryen had wept for herself.

After a small while, she wiped her face, chuckling to the horse beneath her. "If it makes him happy" she murmured, looking back up to the sky as he disappeared within the clouds, a freeing prospect she wished to feel.

She looked around, steering her horse into a small opening, wishing to find some water. She led the horse toward a small puddle, sitting on a nearby rock. She gazed at the animal, resting her chin in her hand. Some other time perhaps she would be riding through fields, escaping the sound of her own children and not the threat of death.

She watched as the horse lifted its hoof, fighting the urge to laugh. "Enjoying?" she asked, tilting her head at the sight. She thought once again of her husband in the skies. "He'll be fine, right?"

She stood up, pacing around once more, a habit she had increased upon as of late. "He's Aemond- he's fought many a battles, he'll come back" she did not know whom she was trying to convince though the sound of a grunt took her back. She turned back around. "I'm talking to a horse, i think i might be losing my mind."