I hate my life rn | read if you haven't lost anyone recently.

Halloween

Just saying something here. I had two adopted siblings. A brother (Harvey) and a sister (Luna). In 2020, Harvey was hit by a car and died. Murdered, even. But it happened so late at night. He snuck off and we didn't know. Not until it was too late. He was 5. HE. WAS. FUCKING. FIVE. YEARS. OLD. I MISS HIM SO FUCKING MUCH. MY TWIN SISTER RIN DIDNT GET TO SAY GOODBYE TO HIM. AND NOW SHE BLAMES HERSELF. AND I HATE MYSELF BECAUSE I CANT HELP HER AND I COULDNT SAVE HIM. 

Anyways, onto the ACTUAL rant now :)

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I HATE MY LIFE SM RN

HALLOWEEN IS MY FAV HOLIDAY. 

I PREFER IT TO MY OWN FUCKING BIRTHDAY.

AND NOW I FIND OUT THAT IN THE OCTOBER HOLS IM GOING AWAY TO A COUNTRY THAT HAS FOOD THAT I DONT LIKE, IS REALLY HOT 24/7 (i hate heat with a passion) AND DOESNT CELEBRATE FUCKING HALLOWEEN. 

LIKE WTF

sure I'm tHaNkFuL I'm going away and shit but like why there? And why can't we be back for MY FAVOURITE FUCKING HOLIDAY THAT I HAVE FUCKING TRADITIONS FOR!!!!!!!!!!

ITS MY FUCKING DEAD ADOPTED BROTHER'S BIRTHDAY FOR FUCKS SAKE. I WANT TO BE HOME SO I CAN FUCKING REMEMBER HIM. 

I DONT WANT TO MISS IT. EVER. 

AND NOW I HAVE TO. 

IM GOING TO FUCKING EXPLODE. MY TWIN CANT USE HER MD COSPLAY THAT SHE PUT SO MUCH EFFORT INTO. MY ADOPTED LITTLE SISTER CANT TRICK OR TREAT. 

*breathes*

apparently I'm tOo OlD fOr HaLlOwEeN.

Sure i don't go trick or treating but think about Luna. THINK ABOUT FUCKING LUNA. SHE'S 8. 

I want to see my sisters happy. 

That's all I'm asking for, mum.