your hand in mine

i

Roseanne meets Lisa on a stormy winter night in an empty coffee shop. (Roseanne is supposed to meet Lisa at an expensive gala dinner, but life has other ideas, and winter supports them.) She thinks she's never looked worse, with her make up running and her hair wet and her attitude sour. (She looks nothing like she planned.)

(Later,she'll find her plans always collapse in on themselves where Lisa's concerned.)

Lisa is a sharp contrast against the horrible snow storm outside. She's quiet. She's nothing like Roseanne imagined. It makes her heart squeeze in her chest, once, painfully and sharply. Lisa's straightened hair is back to its natural curly state because of snow melting on her head, and her green eyes are soft and calm.

Roseanne's face is scrubbed raw and clean, and she's loud in her fuming. She's terribly late, and the only person she's attending this gala for is probably long gone by now.

Roseanne storms into the coffee shop glaring at people unfortunate enough to be stranded with her, and the only person she was attending the gala for walks inside the coffee shop exactly twenty minutes later.

But. No. She is getting ahead of herself. She wants to start from the very beginning.

As much as she'd like it to, the story doesn't start with Lisa.

//

Mason Park's body looks small on a hospital bed, with tubes attached to him.

"Life support," Roseanne says into the phone as she stares at her father, lying lifeless behind the glass. "They had to put him on life support."

"Jesus. I'm so sorry. Do you want me to come get you, or – what should I do? Is there anything I can do?"

She shrugs, but then remembers Eunwoo can't see her. "No," she says. "It's -" she wants to say it's okay, it's fine, but, "there isn't. We wait now."

"And hope," her boyfriend says on the other line, determined but soft. "Mister Park is tough. I should know."

Roseanne laughs. The sound is hollow. "He never did like it when you called him Mason. I don't think he liked you all that much." She imagines Eunwoo shrugging at her words, hair falling onto his face with the gesture. He's either in the supply closet or bathroom, hiding from his co-workers to take this call.

"I'll let him punch me when he wakes up." Roseanne pretends not to notice Eunwoo uses when, and Eunwoo pretends not to notice she uses the past tense when talking about her father. "Then again, he isn't one for physical violence. Shit - in a minute!" Roseanne winces when Eunwoo yells to someone, too sharp and too loud for her right now. "I'm sorry, babe, I gotta go," he addresses her again,regretful. "I'll come over tonight, okay? We will talk and-"

"No." She clears her throat when she realizes she might have sounded too harsh. "I don't - I would like to be alone tonight."

"Oh. Okay." Eunwoo doesn't push. He never does. She likes that the most about him, she thinks. "Well, just let me know if… I'm sorry, I really need to go."

"It's okay. Miss Manoban will have you lynched if you don't." She imagines his half-smile, gentle and easy. It doesn't help the heaviness in the pit of her stomach. "Bye, Eunwoo."

"Bye. I love you," he tries. When she doesn't say anything, he only lets out a small sigh; she's sure he doesn't realize she's heard, and hangs up.

She continues to stare at her father.

//

In the end, she still calls Eunwoo, high on wine and sorrow. He's at her place five minutes later, almost as if he's been waiting for her. She doesn't want to think about it right now. She just wants to feel just a touch less miserable. A little less empty. She wants to feel as though her father will walk in any moment now, full of life and disapproval at her choice in men. As though he's never slammed his brakes in a desperate attempt to avoid head-on collision with a truck, wheels screeching on black ice. As though-