Frosted Hearts (mxm)

21

Ben

Ben watched the cars pass by as they approached his mom's home. He sat in the passenger seat wearing his noise canceling headphones. The first time he visited home was the day after Elias was born. Sounds of a baby crying was not on his bingo card.

Olivia looked out with a blank stare as she sat outside with Gigi. Ben walked straight inside not knowing what was inside the house. "Mama Lala" Ben said. Elias was asleep in the stroller outside with Olivia, Ben noticed Layla sitting down on the sofa. The smell of weed filled the air. White dust lined up on the counter top. Occasionally Layla would rub it in her gums. The smell grew stronger as she took a hit again of the blunt. Her eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep and usage of drugs.

"Benny Bun" Layla said. Turning her head toward Ben. He moved his headphone off one ear before sitting next to her. She quickly grabbed his hand. Tears began to fall from her eyes. "Ben...I'm going away for a while I need you to be here for momma Liv and Eli" Layla said. On the table was a pamphlet for a rehab facility. The last thing Ben needed was for her mom to leave for rehab. Her sobriety was broken.

Ben hugged her mom with teary eyes. He didn't want her to go back to rehab again. She knew it was time to face the music of sobering up and coming out of postpartum. Layla hugged him back kissing his temple. "I'm sorry" Layla said. Ben squeezed his mom's hand five times. I love you mama Lala.

-
Randy

The smell of weed filled the air that was outside the home. Immediately my heart dropped. Layla had broken her sobriety journey. I didn't have to look at Olivia to know what had happened. Baby Elias, Gigi and Olivia all sat out on the porch. Early this morning Olivia had called me to bring Ben home to say goodbye to Layla.

Seeing Olivia's blank face broke my heart. A mother who was going through postpartum depression turned to drugs to ease her pain. Olivia tried and tried to ease that pain Layla was feeling. She had failed her truest and greatest love.

I sat outside with Olivia as she spoke about Laylas struggles with the depression. The day she came home Layla had found some coke laying around. Trying to fight the urges she failed herself and did the drug to feel better about herself. She was on a cocaine habit for a few days until she brought weed into the mix. That's when things started to get worse.

Olivia would hide the drugs from Layla. Her wife would grow irritated and throw valuable things at her. They fought each day about where the drugs were coming from. Layla would say things that she would never have said sober. Striking a nerve with Olivia causing her heart to break slightly. One night Olivia had a conversation with Layla about visiting a rehab facility. She broke down in tears but agreed.

"I need to get better Liv, I'm so sorry I can't control myself anymore" She said. Olivia pulled her wife into her warm embrace. "Ben, Elias and I all want you to get help and you are loved by all of us here Layla" Olivia said. Layla held a blunt in her hand that was half way through. She gave it to Olivia with shaky hands and teary eyes. "When I'm gone clean the house of every drug I hid in here" Layla said. "I promise" Olivia said.

Ben drew a portrait of Layla and Olivia sitting together outside. Including every detail he saw of them, the emotions he saw in his mother's faces elevated to the page. Heartbreak, Grief, sadness, laughter, and love. Love is what he saw most when it came to his own moms. Love is what builds a family. Layla and Liv couldn't build a relationship without love. Neither could Ben and I.

One day I wish to have a family with Ben and raise a few kids with that ninja turtle. Ben is and always will be a ninja turtle in my heart. He hates it when I ask him which one is his favorite. I'm his boyfriend of course I know which one is his favorite it's Leonardo.