ALEX | BXB

CHAPTER SIX

Alex's pov:

I sat in the sterile, cream-colored room, surrounded by the faint scent of disinfectant and the soft hum of overhead lights. The psychiatrist's office was a far cry from the chaos that ravaged my mind. Dr. Kim's gentle voice, laced with concern, brought me back to reality.

Dr. Kim's eyes locked onto mine, her gaze soft but probing. "Alex, can you tell me how you're feeling today?" she asked, her tone encouraging but firm.

I shrugged, fidgeting with the hem of my worn jeans, feeling a mix of frustration and hopelessness. The institutional gray walls seemed to close in on me, making my skin itch with anxiety. "I don't know...just stuck, I guess," I muttered, my voice barely above a whisper.

Dr. Kim's expression turned stern, her voice taking on a hint of disappointment. "The doctors have noticed you haven't been taking your medication regularly. That's why you've been having episodes again, Alex. This week alone, you've had three." Her words cut deep, making me feel like a failure.

I looked away, the shame burning in my chest like a wildfire. I knew I should be taking the meds, but they made me feel numb, like a zombie shuffling through life. "I don't see the point. They don't help anyway," I said, my voice laced with defiance and desperation.

Dr. Kim's tone turned firm, but her eyes remained compassionate. "Alex, the medication helps stabilize your mood and reduce the episodes. Without it, you're vulnerable to...what happened last time." Her words conjured up memories I'd rather forget, and I flinched, feeling a wave of fear wash over me.

The memory of the incident still lingered, raw and painful. The screams, the tears, the feeling of losing control – it all came flooding back. "I know...I just can't stand feeling like a robot all the time," I said, my voice cracking with emotion.

Dr. Kim's expression softened, her voice gentle once more. "I understand, but we need to find a balance. Can you try taking the medication as prescribed, just for now? We can adjust the dosage later if needed." Her words were a gentle nudge, urging me to take control of my life.

I nodded reluctantly, knowing she was right. But the thought of going back to that numb feeling was suffocating.

Dr. Kim's expression turned hopeful. "Alex, beside everything else I think you're making progress. You're learning to cope with your emotions and deal with situations better than before. By next month, you might be ready to go home."

I felt a spark of excitement at the prospect of leaving this place behind.

"However, before we can consider discharge, we need to talk about what happened with your father. The trauma you experienced...it's a miracle you survived. Most people don't make it through something like that."

I felt my walls go up, my mind shutting down at the mere mention of it. I wasn't ready to talk about that. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

Dr. Kim's eyes locked onto mine, searching for a glimmer of willingness. "Alex, I know it's hard, but we need to confront this. How do you feel about what happened? About what your father did to you?"

I remained silent, my gaze dropping to the floor. I couldn't meet her eyes, couldn't let her see the pain and fear that still lingered inside me. I just shook my head, a small, barely perceptible movement.