Terridus

Chp2: "Self Hatered" (Introduction)

   
(TW: SA)
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Shin'ainaru nikki e. -
1999 年の夏.

My name is Ichiro Yokota.
Everyone in my class calls me by my last name, though.

I think I'm sort of a quiet type now, but before, I was quite the energetic and funny kid.
But I had to change since I guess nobody didn't really liked that part of me.

Before, my actual name was Hitomi ____.
My.. Parents had to change it, but I don't know why.
Perhaps my previous name had a terrible past?

They've never told me why, so I shouldn't ask them.
I'm probably the most boring person you'd probably meet.
I have average grades and, of course, fit in with everyone else, like an npc in a game!

But there is one unique thing about me, I guess..
Ever since I was a child, I have tended to run away from almost everything.

While other children my age when they are backed up in a corner would probably find a way out..
I'd run.

I always ran as fast as I could, even if there was no danger.
It just felt like there was danger lurking around me.

Even though that's probably not true.. my legs just start working for themselves, and then, you'll probably see me dash away like the wind.

But.. something from my past that I'll never forget is that.. I
had pretty light blonde long hair beforehand.
“Well of course” you'd probably say because I was a girl.

And I wanted to cut it because my teacher said it was pretty and fitting for a young girl like myself.

Seriously? Why would you even say that to a nine year old?
But after all, she is the reason why I'm so silent all the time.
(Because she assaulted me and made me terrified of ever speaking out ever again.)

Why did she get out scot-free for that?!
And why was I the one to get punished!

Why didn't anyone help me?!!
Was It my fault that I let her go on me??

Maybe my father was right.
I was lucky.

I'm weak, I'm a coward.
I guess it's my fault after all that Ms.Hisui did that to me.

I was vulnerable.
I'll never trust someone who's older than me ever again.
It was my fault that happened to me.

If I wasn't that innocent minded, that could've never happened!

Why.
Why did I.
Let it happen.

I should've ran that time.
Instead of running from anything else.

…..
….
..

But let me introduce myself again.

I am Ichiro Yokota.
The coward that runs from anything.
But swears.. to end any criminals..
like that teacher.