Heavy Metal Bruises | m.s

TWENTY-NINE

AFTERLIFE

I did not die a painless death. Bullets hurt. They said that I went to a better place where I'm no longer suffering. The best place was with Matt. They said that I can be with my friend at last. As much as I missed Johnny, I can only think about how lonely it is to sit here beside him and watch the Matt spend his days laying in the empty bedroom crying over my death, looking up at the lantern every five minutes to see that it's glowing hot because I'm afraid he'll forget about me if I stop shining light in it. This is how I have been comforting him for weeks.

I know he has contemplated ending it all and this time I see he's made up his mind. I look to Johnny and Jimmy. They had somber looks on their faces. Matt has so much more to live for. He can find love and be free. He doesn't know that he'll be stuck her forever. But maybe it would be nice to be stuck with him forever.

He held a shiny, back pistol in his hands. He eyes were wild as they crazily ran over the gun. I knew his mind was going crazy.

The light went out of the lantern, signalling him to not do it. He looked up at it, something in his eyes shifted. "What's wrong?" Matt called out to the empt room. "You don't want to stay for this, too?"

My heart sunk. Well, my notional heart. I've never seen him in so much pain, and now he resents me.

"It's not your fault.." he muttered to the gun. He raised it up to his head and looked at the lantern. He let a small smile when it glowed again. I couldn't stop him, so the least I could do was let him know I was here. I looked away from Matt to Johnnys hand in my shoulder. The gun went off, making a small tear slip down my cheek.

"Why aren't you guys protesting?" I asked quietly.

It was silent until Jimmy walked forward. "It was his time. At the hospital, it wasn't."

We all three walked side by side to go meet Matt. He looked lost and confused. He looked around at the complete white nothingness we were in. No floor, no ceiling, no time, just us. Once his eyes found us, he looked relieved and smiled ecstatically once his eyes rested on mine.

Jimmy hugged him, Johnny shook his hand, and I just stood in front of him. They both disappeared and it was just Matt and I.

"Jess.." he breathed out.

I wanted to be disappointed, but I couldn't. It was his time and this is where he was supposed to be. I smiled into my cry and was met with his shoulder. We embraced for what seemed like hours. "I love you." He said into my hair.

"I love you, too." I sniffled.

We pulled away and looked at each other. "You look absolutely beautiful."

"Thanks, when you're here, you come up as your best self." I informed him.

He looked down at himself, admiring his bulging muscles. He was much smaller after my death because he wasn't eating.

"Sick."

Him and I walked aimlessly into the white. "So, what do you do here? Where is everyone?" Matt was so curious.

"All we do is watch and hangout. We only appear when we're needed. It's kind of spooky at first."

He nodded his head and looked at the ground. "I wrote you back." Matt said, referring to my last trip overseas. "I tried to be patient and was hoping you were just bust so you couldn't respond to my last letter. I didn't know until the showed up at my door.."

"Matt.." I cooed. He continued looking at the ground.

"What happened?" He looked at me this time and asked.