MATHEW CHARLES SANDERS was a simple man. He liked black coffee, light wash jeans, and a nice pair of boobs. He stayed away from social media and his secret pleasure were Rascal Flatt's concerts. He enjoyed making music with his band and donating mon...
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NOVEMBER 20th, 2012 ADJUSTMENT
The nightmares she's been having are terrible. She wakes up screaming in terror. I feel horrible. I try to get her to talk about them but she won't. All she does is apologise for keeping me up. I don't mind. I'd stay up until the end of the world for her if I had to.
I started to notice things that trigger her PTSD. I wrote them all down and made a list.
Trigger #1- Sudden loud noises I figured this would be a common one. Simple things like the the door bell ringing when the house is completely silent, or me slamming doors on accident.
Trigger #2- Aggressive behaviour This one was strange to see. It started when my nephew was playing with my dog Bella. We had a small cookout to meet all my friends. Jess sat in a lawn chair and watched the two play. At first I thought she was just admiring how adorable they were. Until Bella showed her teeth. She instantly bolted from her chair and ran over. She pinned Bella on the ground with one arm and grabbed my nephew with the other, separating the two. Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at her. I watched her face as she came back to reality and saw what was actually happening. She ran into the house and never came back out for the rest of the evening.
Trigger #3- Touch I am still trying to understand this one. I am terrified to ask her about it. I don't want to know let alone make her relive whatever happened. She won't come near me at all. If I stand to close to her, she inches away. She won't look me in the eyes when I talk to her.
She thinks she's weak because she let the things happen to her 'mess her up'. I think she's the strongest person in the world for dealing with it all. She's he most beautiful thing inside out and I need to tell her before someone else does.
"I'm leaving now!" I heard from up the stairs.
Jessica had to leave today to go tell a family that their son died 10 days ago. If that's not the shittiest job, I don't know what is.
Jess walked down. The first thing I saw were vert shiny and polished black dress shoes. As she descended, her crisp military dress uniform shown. She found the end of the staircase and turned to me.
"How do I look?"
The ribbons on her uniform were all different colours stacked up neatly onto eachother. Her medals glistened in the living room light. Her blonde hair was slicked back into the neatest bun I've ever seen. She looked amazing.
"Shiny." I smiled.
"Thanks." She half smiled and took a deep breath. "Do you want to come with? You can wait in the car."
I was surprised to hear that she wanted me with her. I would have thought that she wanted to do this alone. Maybe she wasn't close to the person who died.
"Sure. I'll drive.
Jessica gave me directions. What I mean when I say that is she pointed to the streets I was supposed to turn down after I had already passed them. I wasn't mad. It was more time for us to spend together.
The car rested to a stop in front of the house. Another car pulled up behind me with a man in uniform. He got out.
"I'll see you in a bit." Jessica got out of the car and met the man on the sidewalk. They approached the house together.
He knocked on the door and an older woman answered. By the look on her face when she opened it, she already knew what had happened. Jessica opened her mouth to speak, but the woman had dropped to her knees sobbing.
"My son!" The woman cried. "Please, no!"
I had to look away. I couldn't imagine what was harder, to hear that kind of news or give it.
