II/BFDI oneshots (read the description)

"GET OFF THE GAME, AND TAKE A SHOWER." (Trophy x Fan)

This was written for eddgouldwannabe

Fan walked his smelly ass down the street, as everyone literally retched when they smelled him. He was forced to walk by OJ, because he hadn't gotten up from his gaming chair since May 17, 2018, 4:18 am EST. If he didn't go outside he would be evicted. So he did, avoiding grass as best he could.
    
His girlfriend, Test Tube, recently broken up with him because he smelled awful, and had and AI girlfriend. She begged him to take a shower but he refused because he was playing Fortnite as Peter Griffin. The shower didn't have Vbucks and battle passes. Fan stayed up every night playing Fortnite, yelling about how another player is a tryhard. "DUUDE, THIS GUY IS LITERALLY A TRYHARD!" He screeched every single goddamn night.

Trophy had been walking down the same crosswalk as Fan when an absolutely disgusting smell filled his nostrils. It smelled like rotten fruit and anus. What could possibly have such and awful smell? It could only be...Fan.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SMELL?" Trophy exclaimed. Fan looked up at him "Hey, humans can smell bad!" Suddenly, Trophy's hands grabbed Fan and hoisted him over his shoulder. "Come on, you're going to my house, and taking a shower." Fan kicked and squirmed, hissing and screaming like a child.

Trophy was quite annoyed by the crusty, dusty, musty, and just a little busty man. "Let's make a deal. If you take a goddamn shower, I'll be your alpha zaddy." Fan was captivated by the offer. An alpha zaddy did sound good. But a shower? YUUCK! He was on his 6 year no shower streak. "Grr, you drive a hard bargain..." Fan says, deciding which one was more important. "Maybe... maybe it's time I break my streak. I'll do it." Fan muttered.

Trophy set the smaller man down. "Good, because if I held you any longer I would have contracted herpes and dysentery." Trophy said, a low chuckle escaping his lips. And so, Trophy led Fan to his house and to the bathroom, where the dreadful shower awaited him. Fan looked at it with awe and fear.

"I haven't seen one of these in years." Fan said, still flabbergasted. He nervously turned on the water as Trophy left, giving him privacy. Fan took off his clothes and stepped into the warm water. After a couple minutes, he walked out of the bathroom in new clothes he received from Trophy, and he smelled good as new. Like bananas and peaches, with a hint of icing. (If you know what song that is, you know)

Trophy smirked at him. "You smell brand new, fresh out the factory." He said, hugging Fan, inhaling his scent, as the scent was no longer literally toxic. "Thanks, Zaddy Trophy." Fan said, a little flustered from the sudden affectionate gesture. "You're welcome, kitten." Trophy said, closing his eyes, content.
So now, Fan no longer smells like socks and raw pussy. He is a new man, with a new zaddy. The fucking end.

(509 words)