Lucky's (Mis)Fortune (MXMXMXM)

Lucky's (Mis)Fortune: CHAPTER SIXTEEN

I realize now that I hadn't thought things through. The only thing I cared about when I was asked to go out was that I wouldn't be spending the day in the same place as the last two weeks, and I had found that to be a blessing. But I should have thought things through. I really, really should have thought about it before accepting.

The reason? The fact that I was out with three guys who are in a relationship, making me the fourth wheel. 

I watch Khael feed Eliott and Aiden some of the mint chocolate chip ice cream from the same spoon before taking some for himself, licking the spoon and all. I found it cringe and maybe a little bit disgusting but most of all, it made me feel awkward and out of place as I slowly ate my cookie dough ice cream. 

I try not to look up but when I hear them giggling and conversing as if I wasn't even there, I take some glances even after attempting to stop myself. It made it harder when I heard them laugh and I just had this huge urge to look at their smiles because as depressed as their relationship made me feel, I liked their smiles. Especially Eliott's whose grin I couldn't see often but easily came when he was next to his lovers. 

"You're awfully quiet." Surprisingly enough, it had been Eliott who had remembered about my existence. 

I instantly straighten up at the attention given to me. "Well, I have nothing to say..." I say quietly which was half the truth towards the explanation of my silence. 

Aiden's smile falters. "You sure? You've been overly quiet..." He questions, sadness in his voice.

"I just don't want to intrude."

"But we want to have a conversation with you and hang out with you. Are we making you feel left out, do you feel like you can't join in on our conversation?" He asks, his tone overly concerned. 

I shrug, "I just have no input." I see Mr. Sawyer open his mouth but I intervene before any of them can say anything. "How about we walk around the stores? I've been wanting to buy a new sweater." That was a lie, I usually didn't buy any new clothes but I just wanted to get away from this situation. 

I stand up before they can say anything and walk away without waiting, throwing my empty ice cream cup away. I bump into one or two people as I make my way straight ahead. I go into the first store I recognize which turns out to be Hollister. I take some deep breaths and then head to the men's hoodies. 

Just before I could touch the first sweater, someone tugs on my forearm, making me gasp and nearly slip. 

"What the fuck where you thinking?" Eliott asks harshly through gritted teeth, his eyes full of anger.

My eyes widened, confused and shocked. 

"Eliott, calm down," I hear Aiden say but my eyes remain on the man holding my arm. 

"I thought we had explained to you that you are in danger," he continues, just as furious as before. 

If I didn't know any better, I would think that he cared about me. And perhaps he was a little scared that I would get hurt, cautious about what it would mean to have my eyes off me for just a second. 

It warmed my heart, of course but I quickly shook the illusion out of my head. I couldn't dig into a hole where I believed everything, where I let myself drown in how it feels to have someone want to protect me. This was a mission to them, they didn't actually care about me. 

"I... I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking," I mumble. It's true, I hadn't thought about anything except running away from them, the ways they made me feel--left out and out of place, I hated that feeling, especially when it came to them. 

Eliott's grip on my arm loosens, but his eyes remain locked onto mine, a storm of emotions swirling behind them. I can see the conflict there—anger, frustration, concern—but underneath it all, there's something else, something softer that I can't quite name. That emotion gets a rise out of me, irritation above all because why was he pretending to care so much?

"Do you have any idea what could happen to you in that second that you're alone? You're vulnerable, one second and someone can get to you, take advantage of you!" he says, his voice quieter now, but no less intense and firm.

I swallow hard. "I didn't mean to worry you. I just needed some space." 

"That doesn't excuse anything-"

"It does to me! Look," I say, yanking my arm off his hand. "You guys are still practically strangers to me, okay? And you suddenly want to... I don't know... take care of me or whatever but I'm not used to that. I'm not used to be being around people in general." I sigh, rubbing my forehead in frustration. "I feel overwhelmed whenever I'm around you three and I just had to get away from you." 

That was blunt and exaggerated but it was too late, the words had come out. 

Aiden looked speechless and Eliott still looked mad, maybe a little shocked. Mr. Sawyer was looking away and there was really no way to read him anyway.

I run a hand through my hair, I don't try to take it back because that's how I feel, they just don't know the real reason why. 

"You don't really mean that, right? I thought we were becoming... close, friends," Aiden states, he sounded devastated, like he had been crushed.

He's just overly friendly and kind. 

I look down at my feet and shrug just like a scolded child would. I just didn't know what to say. I wish I could firmly say, 'yes, we're becoming friends,' but it didn't feel real to me. Was it because it has been so many years since I became close to someone? Did I no longer understand how to have friends? It made me even question my relationship with Liam.

"You should look for the sweater you came to buy," I hear Mr. Sawyer say after a while of silence. 

It felt awkward but I decide to raise my head and look at him. He was expressionless, like before. I nod slowly and turn around at the rack of clothes behind me. I nervously run my hand through all of the hoodies, my eyes going left and right, feeling their intense presence behind me, their eyes bore into my back. 

I pick out a red hoodie and then a gray one, the two options in front of me and abruptly turn around to face them. "Um, which one should I get?" I question for the sake of making things less uncomfortable. 

Aiden lets out a small smile, pointing at the one on my left. "Red would look good on you."

I nod slowly, take the sweater in my size, and then look at the price tag. My eyes widen. $40?!

The article of clothing is snatched from my hands and before I can react, Mr. Sawyer was walking to the cash register. I follow behind and hear the other two behind me. 

"Hey, I'll pay," I whisper-yell as we reach the register.

"You don't even have money."

I see the smallest hint of a smirk on his lips as I take a step back, bumping into the other two who were waiting behind.

The tip of their fingers brush my waist before I straighten myself out and I cross my arms over my chest, waiting for the man to be done with the transaction. He quietly hands me the bag and walks out of the store. Just like before, I am behind him and the other two behind me.

I realize that we remain in this position until we reach the car. I slide into the right seat of the back, Aiden beside me, Mr. Sawyer drives, and Eliott sits beside him.

We don't talk at all on the way to their home but at least soft music plays in the background as I look out and wonder if I did the wrong thing. The way that I spoke to them. The things I said to them. 

Had it really hurt them?