TW probably idk
I don't like getting out of bed, every day is a struggle.
I don't like eating breakfast, I resent myself so I skip it.
I don't like walking to the train,
my bones are steel,
my bag is concrete.
I don't like the train ride,
I sit in silence and think about what I am doing wrong in my life.
I don't like the walk to school,
I stand behind my friends as they talk
I don't like lessons,
my head drops to the desk while I smile and nod and say I get it.
I don't like recess,
I am starving but I can wait longer.
I'll be okay.
I don't like sitting in class,
getting my work done like the perfect straight A student I am.
I don't like lunch,
I know I should eat but I throw my food in the bin,
seeing the plastic wrap still perfect,
glistening amongst the rubbish.
I don't like going home,
sitting in silence and waiting.
I don't like sitting on the couch,
willing myself to get up,
to make something of myself.
I don't like when my parents come home,
getting silently rolling their eyes at my laziness
I don't like feeling dumb,
I'll never be enough.
I don't like the fact that I live for academic validation.
I don't like that I tell my parents that my leftovers very nice,
thank you.
I don't like failing myself,
buying sugar and eating it before I can even think.
I don't like the guilt that comes after it,
an eternal hatred of my body.
I don't like that my friends post photos of how much fun they're having,
without me.
I don't like laying in bed,
sometimes reading,
sometimes staring at the ceiling,
thinking about,
what I'm doing wrong.
Thinking about the way I mess up everything I do
Thinking about how I only live for validation
Thinking about everything I'm bad at.
Thinking about why everyone leaves me
YOU ARE READING
The archer (poetry book)
Poetry!! NOT A STORY !! This isn't fiction, or a story, this is me, and the poetry I wrote about my own life and experience. Not expecting anyone to read it but I just thought I might put this out into the world because it's a little snapshot of the real...
