ʃ⁠ IvanTill Fanfic ƪ - All For You

ᯓᡣ𐭩 Part 1 - Blink Gone

Romantic Homicide - d4vd

"In the back of my mind, you died. And I didn't even cry. No, not a single tear."

★★★★★

1st person pov.

Oh how cruel my fate is. Leaving me confused and hanging. The person I thought I loved and yearned went missing, my days are counted, and the person - who I rarely looked in the eye - sacrificed himself for me.

Am I even worth being sacrificed for? He's aware that everything connected to me ends in a black sorrow.

Ivan, you idiot.

I was so naive to not notice the feelings that you bear for me. I must admit, I was speechless when our lips suddenly met. Never in my life I had expected that to happen.

Still, it wasn't as bad as I first thought it was.

If I'm given a chance to look at your lively eyes again, I will not break contact. Just, don't close them and bid farewell again. Guilt is overpowering my sanity.

I now stand before this enormous hall, the same hall where I saw him perish. The dimmed lights begin to brighten.

And now, I could feel his golden eyes stare at me from my head to toe. A smug smirk plastered on his face. It's obvious who will win this round and everyone is aware of it.

And so, the battle has begun.

......

His golden hair faded into pitch black. His eyes glowed into obsidians. He's impersonating my greatest weaknesses.

Why can't I hear a thing? Neither melodies nor noises. I can't feel anything to the point my body felt like it's numb.

How ridiculous it is that I'm distracted by Luka's actions. His eyes shifted to black. With the same bit of redness in them.

I visioned Ivan's eyes again - even in such short time, I memorized his face features.

I don't even know what to do about this battle. Should I fight for my life?

But, there's no one I'm fighting for anymore. Why would I want to live?

Ivan, I'm truly sorry for everything.

I only notice you whenever you're hurt. Just like the time when I made you a flower crown. That time, Mizi told me to do one for you.

My breath suddenly hitched as well as my voice. Someone is choking me, I'm sure of it. I feel like I'm drowning.

Is this how you felt, Ivan?

I saw Mizi in the crowd, looking at me with determination in her eyes. I ran up to her and she did the same. Whether I win or not, let me at least hold the girl I loved all these years one last time.

"And in a blink gone."

My view slowly became blurry. My head starts to spin fastly. Did I collapse? I can't even feel anything.

The blurriness shifted to darkness. This isn't the battle hall. Where am I?

I feel someone's presence behind me. The beating of my heart is the only thing audible other than my breathing. I turned around, fear washing over me.

Just, where am I?

One thing is for sure, I died. Is this hell? Maybe the devil is playing with me - maybe they know what I did to Ivan.

Ivan's ultimate sacrifice still haunts me, even in death. I'm consumed by the weight of his love, feeling unworthy of the price he paid.

My own life, now lost, seems a cruel waste of his devotion. 'Why me?" echoes through eternity.

Your love was a flame that illuminated my darkest hours, yet I wasted its warmth.

My demise mocks his affection. He helped me so many times yet I wasted it. He has given me a chance to escape but my rotten mind refused his offer.

I ran back to her. I ran back to Mizi.

The girl I love that loves another.

"Till, don't be absurd. This isn't hell." A low, rumbling voice resonated through the darkness, its deep tones echoing off the void's unseen walls.

I looked around, yet I see no one. Maybe my mind is playing with me again.

"Who's there?" I shouted, my voice swallowed by the darkness. I stood frozen, my heart pounding, as the silence seemed to be closing around me.

"See you soon."

Icy fingers brushed against my my cheeks, sending shivers down my spine.

The gentle touch was hauntingly familiar - it's like Ivan's caress, a ghostly echo of memories past. Everything seems to whisper his name, a reminder of what's lost.

Darkness closes in, its void starting to consume me whole again like earlier. Perhaps this time, it will drag me down to the depths of hell, where I believed I belong. The cold, gentle touch on my cheeks slowly faded, leaving only the suffocating shadows. They wrap around me like a shroud, a final embrace. I guess this is my end.

─── . ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

I jolted awake, gasping for air, thinking I'd been dragged to the depths of hell. But, disoriented, I blinked at unfamiliar surroundings.

Towering shelves dominated above, their dusty tomes seeming to mock me. A faint hum of fluorescent lights replaced the expected screams of the damned.

Confusion gripped me as I sat up, rubbing my temples. A library? How...why?

This isn't Anakt either.

The world outside these walls would be different, yet eerily familiar.

Memories flooded back - my past life, the sacrifices, the losses, and...

"Ivan..." I mumbled a quiet mutter, speaking barely above a whisper.

"Hm? I might think that you're in love with me if you continue to say my name in that way." A familiar voice reached my ear.

I flinched at the sound of his voice, scrambling to my feet as my legs trembled beneath me. Ivan sat before me, his presence had me speechless. I didn't notice him! My cheeks flushed pink as I stood there, dumbfounded. What was he doing here?

★★★★★

Hopefully I finish this in 2-3 days aaaaaa