since age 4 all she could ever remember;
fights, abuse, and abandonment,
until she found out about blades and they could sever;
sever her wrists as if they were a piece of paper
and cover all the betrayal she felt
as every night her father came to rape her.
"cat scratches" and "i fell"
both major parts of the excuses
she used to cover 2 things she promised to never tell.
one say somebody walked in,
saw daddy dragging her by the arm.
she thought it was the end, when really it was just about to begin...
same year, daddy lands in jail
mommy finds a new boyfriend
who fills in the father parts where daddy would always fail,
but things are too good to be true,
mommy finds a new guy,
and tells father to shoo!
the abuse starts again, but this time worse,
when she tells , mommy doesn't believe
she feels like her life is a curse
new guy goes to jail
mommy continues to date him
and her trust in family finally begins to fail....
February 17th and she says she is finally done
doesnt want to wake to see the rising sun..
mommy says she will stop seeing the new guy
as long as she doesnt try to die...
life looks up once again
seein' father on occasions
but once again everything falls apart now and then.
she finds mama lying
and her friend is laying in the hospital dying....
year 2015 and she is living with family thats not blood
she has a breakdown
sent out of town,
away to a hospital of all white
filled with those in need of mental help...
she comes back home a week later
siblings rush up as if shes been gone for months
and for the 1st time she smiles,
a smile that may last only a few miles but is true billions deep.
