I have lived with my adoptive parents since I was 2, and they love me dearly. We moved often, as we were a military family. When I got into 5th grade, we finally settled down permanently, meaning we didn’t move anymore. I was so excited because I’d get to make so many new friends and wouldn’t be afraid or sad to lose them. We met while playing this roleplay of Among Us and most of us got into Middle school together. At first, I’ll say it was smooth sailing. My twin sister and I got along with them well enough to where it didn’t cause too many problems, but I won’t say our relationships were perfect. For the sake of this post, I’ll give each of them fake names, along with myself and my sister. My first friend, Sarah, talked with me about books more often than not and really ignored another of my friends, Lillie. Even so, I made sure to include both Sarah and Lillie into conversations. Regardless, Lillie and another friend, Ash, always ignored me and my sister and left us to our own devices. It wasn’t that bad at first, and I could ignore them, but it got worse. Rylee, my name twin, had a birthday party for her 13th birthday, and invited all of our friends. It was generally great, and we even met one of her new friends, but I absolutely didn’t like her for some reason because she just gave off that vibe. It was weird, and it got worse when Sarah had her 13th birthday party, and when me and my sister were so tired that we relaxed and played games, she yelled at us. She told us that, and I quote, “This is my house, meaning you should do what I want to do”. I ignored it at that moment, until we invited her to my house and we got into this argument with each other. I just wanted to play this game with my sister, and we were thinking of maybe changing the game because it was me and my sister's game only. She, yet again, yelled at us, saying that “She was the guest, meaning we should do whatever she wanted”. It wasn’t fair to us, and it really took a toll on my mental health. It got so much worse when we tried to cut ties with them. It was my sister who tried first. This made me cry. They began yelling through google docs, especially Rylee’s new friend, also named Lillie, directed towards me and blaming me for my sister leaving, along with the friend group dispersing. I was extremely hurt, but they were my friends all the way to 7th grade and I didn’t want to lose them. But they treated us like we didn’t matter. It got bad enough that I began cutting my palms with a knife of sorts. It wasn’t deep, but it got worse. I started cutting my thighs, deep enough that I still have scars, even though it’s been a year almost since. It got a bit better when I got a boyfriend, who was pretty kind and nice to me, treating me like a human being unlike most people. During the summer, things calmed down. I went to Kansas that summer, and I really thought everything would be better, until I got sick. I ended up in the hospital after being flown from Kansas to Colorado. I have sensitive skin, meaning I need a certain toilet paper or else I get a UTI. I got very unlucky, getting a kidney stone that blocked my kidney during that time. It caused me to get blood poisoning, otherwise known as falling into Septic shock. It was horrible. After I got there, my sister texted my friends about this. They didn’t end up caring, sending pictures of grass and sh*t instead of asking about my health. I told my boyfriend, hoping for some sort of empathy or something, but he started ignoring me entirely, even when I told him I had gotten out. It hurt. A lot. During that time after, I was struggling, and during a Scout meeting, they talked about summer camp. I told them I didn’t want to go. I didn’t explain the reasoning, but it was because I have panic attacks every time, along with the fact that I was still recovering from the blood poisoning. They got angry at me, for reasons unknown, and told me that I can’t just not go. My sister tried to defend me, but before she began yelling, my mother walked over and yelled at them, talking all about my sickness and that they were being b*tches. I started crying, and my sister began comforting me. The worst part was that, at the last meeting, I had already told them about getting sick, and they even responded to it. When we got back to school, my boyfriend and I ended up breaking up, his excuse being that “we didn’t have many classes together”. We left scouts and I cut off all of my friends and my ex-boyfriend, ignoring them. I got the therapy I needed and I feel much better, I even have better friends now.
Sorry, just been feeling like crap and needed to vent. Idrc if you ignore this.
