"When Opposites Collide"

CHAP 27

"You know what, Mom, if your life mission is to make me feel that I was not worthy enough to be loved, you succeeded! You won, 'cause I definitely feel that way today!" The tears started to flow down my cheeks.

Even though I was in pain, the expression on my Mother's face didn't change. She must not really love me.

"My own Mother didn't even want me!" I feel like that sentence is more of a realization for me.

"Why would I think that she would want me?" I whispered. I'm not sure now to who I was referring in that sentence.

"Lisa, come on, let's get out of here." My Aunt whispered in my ear.

I looked straight into my Mom's eyes.

"You won, Mom. That is... exactly how I feel!" I tried to control the sobs, but my chest felt so heavy. The pain that I was feeling last night just got doubled.

"Congratulations... Mom! I hope seeing me like this makes you happy!" I took away my Aunt's hands and marched to the door and didn't even look back even if my Aunt kept calling my name.

As soon as I got to my car, I started it and drove off. My eyes are filled with tears, I couldn't see clearly, I heard some honking from the other vehicle. And before I could hurt myself, I stopped the car on the side of the road.

There I cried hard while hitting the steering wheel repeatedly. The pain in my hands was nothing compared to the pain I was feeling inside. Even if my hands look sore already, I did not stop, I need to feel something else other than the pain bursting in my chest,anything would do, really.

My Mom, Jennie... Oh, Jennie! How could she hurt me like this? How could she make me feel special in one minute and the next feel like crap? What did I do to deserve all this?

Even hurting, I couldn't bring myself to drive. Dying was not the best revenge, it is probably a satisfaction to my Mom if I die and I won't give that to her

.
After a while, I keep myself together, tried so hard to keep myself together so I would be able to concentrate to drive.

I took a deep breath multiple times before I started the car again. I safely reached my apartment. I threw myself in the tub and washed away the pain, if it were that simple.

I ran my hands to my face then to
My hair the frustrations the pain, everything, how I hope it was so simple to get rid of those feelings.

I noticed the bottom sides of my hands were red and sore and I started to feel pain from that.

Finally!

I finished my bath and took some bandages from my medical kit.

I don't know if I was doing it right but I just rolled the bandages on my hand. Do I need to put in some cream? Or medicine?
I shrugged my shoulder and got dressed. I wanted to drink but I don't have any alcohol stock in here.

Maybe I should get some next time. In case I need it, like tonight.

From exhaustion, I drifted to sleep immediately as soon as I laid back on my bed.