The monotone voice from the strange TV gives three options:
"GO TO HELL, LEAVE YOUR HELL, and/or ASCEND-"
She throws a brick at it.
Stupid cryptic crap.
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ESME VON DUREN WONDERS HOW THE HELL SHE GOT HERE: standing on black dirt. Roasting in the oppressive summer heat as the coffin is lowered. Pushing the retro cat-eye sunglasses that she wears up her nose before using her brother's head as an armrest. Sipping on a blue raspberry slushee, which is a beautiful addition to all of the noisy sobbing. Don't worry, though. She'll tell you how she ended up here.
First is her family legacy: demon-hunting. Now then, it sounds utterly stupid and is somewhat reminiscent of the Van Helsings, isn't it? (They could not even be original enough to change the beginning of the surname. Yes, it is changed by a letter, but a letter isn't enough. Plagiarism exists, you know.) But it's something her family takes very seriously. Well, sure, her father had his head lopped off by a rather volatile demon, but she still thinks this entire affair is dumb. Why shorten your lifespan and spend countless hours in a thankless job that will give you nothing but trauma? (For the greater good, duh. And so people don't fucking die, duh! Oh, please, like there weren't others available to do that.) So, around one hour ago at the family reunion dinner, she announced that, after college, she was going to get a normal job. Crickets.
