Gunil lay back against his bed with a sigh. He felt glad Jooyeon could tell him, depite his being a bit forced. He was so bad at knowing what to say when it came to LGBTQ+ people. Somehow he felt like he always messed his words up.
He had talked to Su about it. She seemed to believe he wasn't as bad as he thought. She said he was doing well. The compliment had made him blush.
That had been happening a lot lately. Su making a comment - a regular comment, same as she always used to before she came out - but Gunil would blush in a way he hasn't in a long while.
Gunil wasn't stupid, he could tell a crush when it hit him, but he wasn't sure what he felt about liking Su. Sure, she was a beautiful girl, but they were friends. They had been friends since long before Su was even a she.
(He supposed she had always been a she. It was only him who thought she was a he.)
Rolling over, Gunil pushed his face into his pillow. He wanted to scream. What was he supposed to think? Did he even truly like her? What would it be like to kiss her? Would he enjoy it? The blush settling across his cheeks answered his question for him.
A sharp beep cut through his thoughts. Gunil reached out to grab his phone.
jiseokie: hey, are you free to call now?
Without replying, Gunil pressed the call button on his phone. Jiseok was definitely someone who needed a lot of attention, but he usually didn't ask to call unless he was down about something.
"Hey," Gunil said as soon as the call connected. "You alright?"
"Su's busy," Jiseok mumbled. "I need to talk to her and she's busy." The tears on his cheeks were clear in his voice.
Gunil felt his heart break at his friend's voice. "Hey, what's wrong? Did something happen?"
Jiseok sniffled loudly through the call. "I figured it out..." he said barely louder than a whisper.
"What did you figure out, Jiseokie?" the older asked, trying to portray a smile through his voice. He wanted to sooth the younger.
"Gunil..." another sniffle broke through the receiver. "I-I'm non-binary. I use they/them pronouns, but I-I don't mind she/her or he/him. I-I wanna tell Su b-but she's busy..." Gunil opened his mouth to respond, but Jiseok cut him off. "It's so interesting actually. L-looking back, I mean. Seeing your whole life through new eyes. The times I cried because I had to go into the boys changing rooms and how I envied girl's beauty. There are so many memories and moments that scream it so loudly. That scream 'I am non-binary'. How did it take me this long to realise?" they asked sourly. It was a rhetorical question thankfully, because Gunil didn't even know how to start that.
"Jiseok," he started, before pausing. "Can I call you that?" After receiving a hum in confirmation, he continued. "I don't know what to say to make you feel better, but I love you. Okay? I love you and I will always support you. Thank you for trusting me enough to come out. You're you, regardless of what your gender is. I love you, Jiseokie."
Silence dripped through the line, but as Gunil opened his mouth to say more, a laugh fell into his ear. Jiseok's signature giggle that drew a smile to the older's lips regardless of his emotions. "I love you too, Gunil. Thank you for listening to me ramble. I was so worried," he finished with a sniffle.
"Always, 'Seokie," he slurred, the whole conversation throwing him a bit off kilter. He was smiling though, so he assumed it was all alright.
Jiseok shifted around on the other end. "I should get going now. Thank you for talking. I'm gonna come out to the others soon, so please can we keep this between us right now? And Su, of course."
"Yeah sure. It's always your secret to tell," Gunil said. He knew that for sure.
------
YAY!!! IM BACK!!!! (ONLY A LIL NOW BUT IM TRYING TO COME BACK MORE!!)
im so sorry ToT ive had LITERALLY SO MUCH going onnnn... ive been trying to write but its so H A R D rn
today is the day 2 years ago that i started listening to xh, so im posting all of the parts i have written of this to celebratee! im already half way through the second to last part so ill FINALLY be able to finish this suuuper soonnn!! ughhh im excited about thatt
im gonna finish this just to get it put of the way and myself back into the flow of writing before i do anythinf elseee <333 hope thats all goodsss
anywayss enjoy the parts ill post noww!!
((also, just wanting to note, i based jiseok's enby experience very heavily on mine,, <333))
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She Called Herself Su
FanfictionShe called herself Su. She had for a long time now, almost as long as she could remember. Su never told anyone this though. To them she wasn't a she. To them she wasn't Su. To them she was a he. To them she was Jungsu. ------ Or Su realises mayb...
