Starlight

Black Hole

Authors Notes: Trigger Warning, slight gruesome detailed description of a corpse.

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"We shouldn't... be doing this."

The words are mumbled between breathless kisses. Weak, whispered words that do nothing to stop the meeting of their lips, nor the curious, hesitant wandering of their hands.

"And why not?" Qimir replies before biting her lower lip. He pulls away, resting one hand on Osha's cheek. "Why should we be denied this? What right does anyone have to deny us connection, attachment... more?"

"You know why," Osha sighs, closing her eyes. "They would banish us from The Order. Everything we've worked to achieve, all the good we could still do, would be lost."

"Only if they find out."

A proposition of secrecy. A direct defiance of The Order. Osha always followed the rules, determined to give the doubters nothing to use against her.

And how much good did that do you? The Stranger's voice returned, dark as night and deadly soft despite its roughness. They never accepted you. Denied you the one thing you crave... the one thing you yearn... Why do you love people who can only go so far?

"No one has to know, Osha," Qimir whispers. "This can be ours, and no one else's."

No one else's... just theirs. It was tempting. To be able to give into the tug and pull between them. To let herself indulge in these desires that promised to set her ablaze in the most sweetest of ways. To finally have what she wanted, someone willing to care for her as deeply as she would care for them.

If no one knew, they couldn't punish her for it. If no one knew, there would be no one to disappoint.

But I'll know, Osha swallows hard. I'll know that I'm betraying The Jedi way. That I'm proving I'm unworthy. That I'm letting Sol down. It's bad enough that I'm even considering it. That I let him...

Osha opens her eyes, looking anywhere but at Qimir. He must see how at odds she is with herself, battling between her loyalty and wants. He hushes her softly, thumb stroking her cheek. She doesn't understand how his touch can be so soothing, his voice so comforting.

"It's alright, Osha. I know you're not the type of person to dive in head first. You don't have to make any decision now. There's no pressure," Qimir assures her.

When she finally looks at him, she wishes she hadn't. The softness on his face makes her heart ache. There is a hesitancy there, something vulnerable, braced for rejection.

"Just... let me do this, once more," Qimir requests.

Qimir's next kiss is teasingly slow, his tongue leisurely exploring her mouth, coaxing hers to join his in a final farewell.

Osha doesn't want the kiss to end, wants nothing more than for him to lay her down below the shadowy canopy of trees and twinkling starlight, to let his kisses rob her of breath until the morning light chases away the chill from their bones.

Qimir breaks the kiss slowly. His next words are a promise murmured against her lips.

"When you're ready, I'll be waiting."

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Osha had known this was going to be an uncomfortable night.

They hadn't brought any camping equipment, not having expected to be out after dark. They would have to sleep rough, taking what little comfort they could from the fire, their robes and a bed of dried leaves.