Heavens baby

Lonely

*Xiaphela*

Years I have been alone, the life of a Goddess is not all its cracked out to be. I can make and end life but I could never have children of my own. Angels can carry and birth kids but the only thing I am carrying is the weight of my misery in this lonely palace...

Sacrifice day had come again and usually I just get an image of who it was that died because they had gone straight to hell. There was her, black hair just like mine, her small human eyes teared up. In my head I can hear childlike laughs and I see her playing and being happy. When she ran towards me I couldn't help but pick her up, cradling her small frame but trying not to hurt her.

When I gave her the choice I had to hide my excitement when she agreed to stay. Usually when people get turned into angels their hair changes but I decided to keep her hair. In my human life I had black hair, when I became Xiaphela I kept it. To remind myself from where I came from. Yet my name will forever be lost...

"X-xia" Xia? Nobody had ever called me that before. A quiet whimper comes from beside me, I open my eyes slowly and start to sit up in bed. I look over at her standing in the doorway.

"Yes little one" I answer with a soft smile. She fiddles with her hands a little before looking back up at me again. "Sweet girl, whats wrong" I say a bit more concerned. Getting out of my bed to go to her, even though she had grown she was still the height of only a 3 year old to me. I left her mind though, she was still 19 inside at the moment.

When I pick her up she bursts into tears, flailing her arms wildly. As I managed to get a good grip on her I realized..... Her diaper had been used. Which is normal but she must be slightly embarrassed. After she knows I know she burys her head in my neck and cries. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" she cries.

"Shhhhh it's okay princess, I'll make it all better I promise" I smile at her. I lay her on the changing matt and grab another diaper and a pink dress. Usually we only have white and gold in heaven but I think my precious girl would appreciate a splash of colour. "There there princess. Your doing so well" I soothe as I change her. She covers her face in embarrassment but when I'm done she stops.

"Thanks... 'M sowy" she whimpers again looking down. I kiss her cheek lovingly and carry her to my room. Laying her on my chest as I sit back on my bed. Her sniffles turn into gentle snores, her pitch black hair draped gently over her shoulder.

So precious...

I let her sleep for awhile longer until she needs to get up is I can show her around, I gently brush out her hair putting it in pigtails. I clip a pacifier to her shirt but I have no idea if she will accept it or not. I hold her close to me after I get dressed and carry her to the dining hall.

It's so different hearing her small babbles echo in the hallways instead of my own footsteps. This morning she is having porridge and I'm having fruit and toast. She seems to love the porridge, up here it's a bit more advanced than humans because we are more advanced beings then humans. Humans don't have porridge that actually tastes nice. They have gruel and bread. They don't have marble palaces. Her village didn't have gold or soft cloth.

When she was asleep I rewatched her life. I learned many things,her name is Carmen... Cursed Child, her black hair is a symbol of Light because only in pure darkness can light fully shine. Stupid humans failing to see such beauty in her. Her mother died when she was 9, I remember her mother well, she wanted to be reborn on earth and prayed that she would never have another child with cursed hair..... Humans are so stupid. "Prepare my horse please" I ask of one of my many servants and faithful lady's in waiting.

We finish breakfast and I wipe her face gently. "T-thank you" she whispers, it will take time for her to warm up to me but I can wait.

"How about a horse ride princess. I can show you all of heaven" I pick her up and rest her on my hip. She nods gently. I get on the horse and she is sat in front of me, I put my arms round her so she doesn't fall off. The horses hooves clicking on the floor as it trots innto the village of heaven, everyone stops to wave at us both. Some of them she notices have the same eyes as her so were once human too.

All of them have roles to play and it's paradise up here. People have this belief that heaven means you get everything you ever wanted. But it just means you have peace, true inner peace where your happy. It doesn't mean unrealistic dreams come true, we do not have unicorns or mermaids. Or at least not in my corner of heaven. This is only one section of many sectors but my precious princess isn't even settled in yet so I won't scare her.

"Look kittens" A squeal comes from Carmen excitedly. The horse comes to a stop and the woman shows her a black kitten which she doesn't take... "I don't have any money" I chuckle softly and hands her the kitten.

"in heaven we have no use for money, everything is free and plentiful." I explain as she takes the small kitten in a loose hug.

I take her round the whole village and when we get back to the palace I take her to my gardens where she saw my fish pond, flowers and some other animals that came to visit. "What will you name your kitten, princess?"

"Oliver" She smiles softly. "That was my human fathers name, he had black hair too" She explains softly. I stroke her hair gently as we sit by the edge of the pond until it started to get darker.