Heavens baby

choices

*Carmen*

I cuddle into her, my mind still racing at the thought i am on a goddess's lap. Is it my mind, I'm dead so am I even thinking... I don't know anymore, she is holding me like a baby, I'm not a sure if I like it or not.

I won't complain though this is the closest someone has come to me in years, the warmth like a fire inside me. A glowing orb comes from behind me... I see my birth, first steps, my mother... my whole life flashing before me. I see my last moments and I see my body lying limp and bleeding out on the stone table.

"You are not a sinful soul... Are you little one" my hair is stroked gently as I'm being cradled I slowly look up at her with more tears rolling down my face.

"N-no, they all say I'm cursed but I never did anything wrong" I blurt out in tears. I wouldn't usually cry in front of anyone but I feel so vulnerable around her. She shushes me gently. I hadn't even noticed she had carried me out the room and was now taking me down a hallway. We reach a room where all the furniture is massive and luxurious.

"I will give you two options I can restart your life on earth or you can restart your life here in heaven but if you choose here you can no longer be human and you can never go back" Xiaphela speaks slowly and I nod. I can't go back to earth... I don't want to die again. But if I stay here I can never go back...

"I'll stay, w-who will I be staying with" she looks slightly shocked but smiles at me soon after.

"You can stay with me if you wish" I nod gently, it's not like I know anyone else here... Before I can say anything else her hand touches my forehead and I pass out.

When I open my eyes I'm laying in a bed, I gently climb out of it and walk to the nearest mirror... I am now around 6"0 with silver eyes, not gold or white. My old raggy dress exchanged for a yellow shirt and white skirt overalls. The shirt said 'Mommy's little princess' and I had on... A diaper.

"What are you doing princess" a voice comes from behind me. I had never seen her before. Her hair was a pure blonde, she had white eyes and a wide smile. She did a small curtsey. "How did you sleep princess?"

"M-me?" I'm not a princess so it's surely not me.

"Yes you silly" I giggle nervously. Me, a princess...

"I slept well" I smile softly, she extends her hand so I take it. I have grown but everyone is still so much taller than me. I'm barely walking  beside her, I'm more running to keep up. She opens one of the many double doors and I walk inside. Xiaphela and some other women are sitting at this long table with lots of food. I'm taken right next to Xiaphela and placed in a highchair.

"good morning princess" all of the women say to me with a soft smile. If this is being reborn here I won't complain. The diaper doesn't even bother me, I feel so special already if they want to treat me like a baby I'm okay with that. It's not like I had much of a childhood anyway on earth.

Nobody wanted me, sometimes not even my own mother. She loved me but I was a burden to her... She kept me hidden away most years because it was embarrassing for her.

"Sweet girl, have something to eat" I'm snapped out of it when I realized there was a feast before me. Pancakes with strawberries, cream and chocolate. There is a sippy cup full of juice aswell. Everyone around me is talking so loudly, my head is hurting.

I feel myself being lifted up, when I'm sat back down I'm on Xiaphela's lap again, I guess I should call her mommy or something... She has me rested on her leg. I am cuddling up to her side. I am so small compared to her still, I really do look like a baby. She feeds me a forkful of pancakes.

They are sweet and soft in my mouth with a slight chocolatey taste.

"It's so yummy" I speak with a mouthful of pancakey goodness.

"Don't talk with your mouth full honey" I'm told. My hair is gently stroked as I continue eating. After the other ladies leave it's just me and xiaphela. "As you may have noticed you have some minor changes. Your now a demi angel. Half human half angel. Your body is that of a child angel so your a bit taller for a human but to me your just a baby, you will live here with me and your a princess now. This is your new life, family, home. I am your mother now, any human mother you have doesn't matter because I am the only mother you will ever have. Understand?"

I nod my head, my life on earth was troubled and hard but this will be better. I have a mother who loves me or at least I hope she does and I am a princess who people respect instead of the Village outcast.

"Can I call you mommy" I ask her with a soft smile. She smiles and tucks a few lose stands of hair behind my ear.

"Of course you can my gorgeous girl" I look at her in pure disbelief... She thinks I'm gorgeous? I'm her gorgeous girl??

"Do you really mean that, you think I'm gorgeous... Even my hair" I ask to make sure she was seeing me, a cursed Child, as gorgeous...

"Yes baby, your the prettiest girl I have ever seen" she let's out a small chuckle and kisses my cheek. All my life I was told she was horrible but I had never felt love quite like this.