i still love you // kavetham

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I still love your hair clips.

Kaveh and Alhaitham had broken up years ago, and despite Kaveh believing that Alhaitham had moved on, found someone new - he held this love letter in his trembling clutch. It was wet, the ink on the pages smudging slightly yet still coherent, he read the letter a few days after it arrived, as he hadn't been home.

I still love your blue feather that's always tucked in your hair.

Kaveh's door hung open, letting the unwelcome rain in, drenching his carpet and clothes. His only priority was reading that letter, it felt like a dream, he never took Alhaitham as a writer. He had mentioned it once a few years ago, Kaveh didn't believe him, and yet the concrete evidence was sat in his droplet covered grip.

I still love how you'd dance around the kitchen, as if no one was watching, my shirt swaying on your body, the sunlight streaming through the windows as it granted you a soft glow.

Kaveh felt his stomach turn, the feeling coming up his throat as he began to stress that it was too late to even try to respond to this piece of literature.

I still love how I'd wake up next to you, your peaceful expression printed into the eternity of thoughts within my mind. Yet it stood out, even now.

His grip on his door handle fell loose as he slammed it shut, a coat or umbrella going forgotten as the rain began to pick up, droplets hammering down on his hair. Kaveh felt it all drip down onto his forehead as his strands of hair quickly joined them, sticking to his forehead as if he used hair gel.

Kaveh's legs carried him as everything else was forgotten, his panting becoming loud in his ears as he pushed on, knowing where his goal was.

I still love how we bickered, I miss your expressions feigning pure offense, I miss how those nights would end in a secure embrace. I felt as if my hold would protect you from the world, protect you from your insomniac behavior.

It wasn't long until Kaveh's heart beat began to pick up along with his steps, pounding in his ears like a  concert drum.

I still love when I'd find you asleep on your work desk, the drool endearing as I'd carry you to bed, never missing how you'd nuzzle into me - as if you had found where you're meant to be. Forever my home, forever my world, I've only ever wanted you in this universe - and even if I had the option to travel to a million others, no one would come close to even resembling you. 

I still love the day I went and picked out an engagement ring, being able to use my own fingers to know the size you'd need. 

Kaveh almost tumbled into Alhaitham's front door when he arrived, knocking frantically as the rain didn't show any signs of mercy. The silence of the world at this time of night was enchanting, the only sounds decorating the silence being the rain and Kaveh's heavy breaths. This remained until...

I didn't like the day you left me, just a day before I'd use said engagement ring. But what I still love from that day, is the fact you kissed me before you left.

Alhaitham opened the door.

I still love your lips, I still love your eyes.

The grumpy expression Kaveh always remembered him having was immediately gone, replaced by one of disbelief. His lips part, moving to say Kaveh's name - whatever it was, it was muted, as Kaveh immediately claimed his footing on the wooden floors and everything went quiet.

His hair dripped with water as his hands came up to cradle the jaw he missed so much, the teal eyes that softly gazed at him with the same love from all of those years ago.

I still love you.

Kaveh pressed their lips together.

Love, Alhaitham.

He felt hands find stability on his back, tugging him impossibly closer as he felt his chest be enveloped in the warmth he missed so much. The kiss was tender, soft presses of the lips, the rain muffling as if the only focus in the world was each other.

They part after a minute, Kaveh's eyes flickering all over the others face as he caught his breath from running. Alhaitham let a sincere smile scratch its way onto his face, his fingers darting to tug a strand of blonde hair behind Kaveh's ear.

"You got my letter."

"I love you too." Kaveh couldn't help but blurt out, Alhaitham's voice was like a secret code to jumbling his brain.

The other smiled impossibly wider, before hugging closer, his hands retracing every inch of Kaveh's torso, remembering how the blonde felt - his presence was awakening. It made the warm fuzzy feeling in Alhaitham's stomach unavoidable.

"You were going to propose to me...?" Kaveh whispered among the hug.

Alhaitham hummed, "I don't think you'll ever truly realize how much I hope to spend the rest of my life with you."

"Even with the bickering? Even with how I ran away?"

He pulled back, looking Kaveh in the eye as he nodded, "Bickering with you is a guilty pleasure, and you came back, no?"

Kaveh sighed, kissing the other tenderly with some guilt hanging off of it, which was absorbed by Alhaitham's loving hold on him, as if he was going to slip away like a fed up cat.

He recalled a detail from the letter, biting his cheek, "I never drool on my desk, by the way..." 

Alhaitham chuckled before leaning in to the crook between his neck and shoulder, "Don't lie. And don't bite your cheek, either." The cheek biting had always been a habit of Kaveh's, a form of concentration, a form of emotion, a form of expression.

"Old habits never die, or whatever the phrase is." 

He felt a smile against his shoulder, a feeling he missed.