Well Beyond

23

The kitchen in the Castle is a flurry of activity, but all I can focus on is the soft hum of the oven and the clinking of utensils as I prepare the dessert for Jasper's private dinner. The air is thick with the scent of vanilla and butter, but it does nothing to ease the churning anxiety inside me.

As I mix the ingredients for a lemon tart, my movements feel robotic, detached. My mind keeps drifting back to the conversation with Jasper from last night. I can still feel his hand on my hair, his voice full of concern. The warmth of his touch is in sharp contrast to the icy grip of guilt I'm wrestling with.

I carefully pour the lemon mixture into the tart shell, watching as the golden liquid swirls hypnotically. But each stir, each pour, feels like a reminder of the lie I've been living. Jasper's concern and kindness are stuck in my mind, a cruel reminder of how much I've deceived him.

My hands are shaking slightly, and I knock over a bowl of sugar. Granules scatter across the counter, and I scramble to clean up the mess, my movements frantic. The sound of Jasper's promise to find time for me tomorrow keeps echoing in my head like a drumbeat counting down to a confrontation I'm dreading.

The tart is now in the oven, baking slowly. I stare at the timer, willing it to move faster. I need the task at hand to distract me, but the rhythmic ticking seems to mock me, a countdown to the inevitable. Every tick brings me closer to facing Jasper with the truth I've been hiding for months.

Emma's cheerful voice drifts in from the dining area, a stark contrast to my inner turmoil. "How's it going in there, Corie? Need any help?"

I take a deep breath, trying to steady my racing heart. "I'm almost done here. Just need to finish up with the dessert. I thought you were busy today."

"I wasn't busy. I wanted Jasper to ask you because I know how much you love baking. I figured you needed to clear your mind," she sighs. 

Emma's footsteps approach, light and easy. She peers in, her expression softening when she sees the look of distress on my face. 

"Are you okay?" she asks, her voice gentle.

I force a smile, but it doesn't reach my eyes. "I'm fine. Just thinking a lot about...things. I'm sorry I've been so distant lately."

"No, Corie, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said those things," Emma admits softly, her voice tinged with sincerity. She takes a step closer, her gaze filled with regret. "I was just hurt and let my emotions get the better of me. It wasn't right."

I can't help but smile at her apology, the warmth of her words soothing my anxiety. "I can't stay mad at you," I reply gently. "I appreciate you saying that, though. It means a lot to me."

She steps into my space, wrapping me in a heartfelt hug. I sigh softly into her thick curls, feeling the comfort of her embrace. For a moment, the weight of the past few days seems to lift. The connection between us feels restored, even if only for a short while.

After a few seconds, we break apart, and Emma offers me a playful, yet genuine smile. "I'll leave you to it. If Jasper finds me in here after I told him I had plans, he'll definitely give me a hard time."

I chuckle at her teasing, grateful for her light-heartedness. "I'll see you later, then."

She gives me one last reassuring smile before turning and making her way down the hall. I watch her footsteps fade, the sound of her laughter echoing softly. As the door closes behind her, I feel a sense of calm settle over me.

I turn back to the oven, watching the timer tick away. The dessert, a small piece of normalcy amidst the chaos, feels like a countdown to something much larger and more troubling.