Loose Ends - Book One

Ana ~ Is this a Bad Time?

My bedroom door bursts open, and there he is.

            Levi. In the flesh, after so long. T-shirt and sweatpants. Ink-carved arms taken over by sexy veins. Fists clenching, chest heaving, eyes piercing...

            "I couldn't stay away."

            He reaches me within seconds and his lips collide with mine. Hard and desperate.

            All of my senses melt, and I can't think about anything but him. This. Us.

            Then, we're somehow in my bed. Clothes disappear. Our bodies collide. The pleasure is almost dizzying.

I can feel him. He's hovering over me. Breathing in my ear. Saying my name.

            "Ana..."

            His hands pin mine over my head. His eyes scan my body, which is fully exposed. Lust glazes his eyes, like he's a predator and I'm his prey. All he says is my name.

            "Ana..."

            My heart is racing. I never knew what it was like to want someone so bad. And then him. He haunts my mind, body, and soul. It's his. I'm his. I never imagined wanting to belong to someone. But he's not just someone. He's...

            "Ana..."

            He's going down. His hand is separating my thighs. His fingers trace me and my hips jerk. I'm dripping like a leaky faucet. Goosebumps cover me from head to toe.

            He makes eye contact with me as his face hovers over me. His breath teasing me. His smirk daring. He's so close. I want him to devour me so bad. He's about to. He's about to...

            I don't remember setting an alarm. I shoot up from my pillow and exhale, before grabbing my phone from my nightstand. A number I don't recognize is calling me. I don't answer it. I can't answer it. I'm still in shock about the...dream? Nightmare? I want it to be a nightmare.

            I've been trying my best to forget about him. It's been two weeks. I've texted and called more times than I want to admit. All I did was open up. I've never done that with anyone except Sheila. Now, he's acting like one of those boys that take one look at me and then walk faster. Did I scare him off with my past?

            That doesn't make sense. Why take me back home with you? Why bake cookies with me? Smoke with me? Listen to me ramble on about things I love and hate?

            I can only think that he's hiding something. He has some secret that he didn't share with me. It hurts enough to think I've shared every detail of my life with him, and he can't return that trust. However, oddly enough, the fact that he just ghosted me hurts more. No goodbye. No explanation. Radio silence.

            So why the hell did I have to wake up from that? And why am I reaching into my nightstand? Why am I aggressively digging and shoving everything around until my hand finds my vibrator in the corner of the drawer? For fuck's sake, why do I want him so badly?!

            My brain screams no, but my body is howling at me to dissociate myself back into that dream. And I do. I do it while he's still fresh in my mind.

            I twist my toy onto the lowest setting, and hide it under the blanket with my body. My lips slightly parts as I lightly touch the end of it to my sweet spot. I dare not even whisper his name, but I scream it in my head as I imagine his tongue meeting my slit. It's very easy for me to turn this dirty activity into a full-on fantasy of this rugged, mysterious boy licking me clean. Almost too easy.