Loose Ends - Book One

Ana ~ Here We Go, Another Creep

I drive Sheila and I back to Kingston, and we end up at a mall. Before we go in, we decide to park in a spot far from everyone and roll up in the car.

"Bro, can your grandma adopt me?" I say, digging for a lighter.

Sheila chuckles. "She's an angel, right?"

"Absolutely. Where has she been all our life?" I joke and hold the lighter out to Sheila.

She hesitates, but slowly takes it.

I frown. "I'm sorry, did I—"

"No," she stops me. "You didn't do anything. I just really do wish I had her a couple years ago. I..."

Sheila shifts in her seat and her breath suddenly goes shaky. I've never seen her like this.

"I want to tell you what happened to me. Why I checked myself into Silk River."

"Sheila," I put my hand on her hand, which was shaking a little. "Only if you're ready."

"I am, just..." She lies her other hand on top on mine. "Please don't judge me."

"Never."

She nods, sits back in her seat, and takes the first hit. "You know how Tess came after you because you stabbed someone, like she did?"

"Yeah," I roll my eyes.

"Well, I also stabbed someone. That's why she was my enemy, first."

My jaw drops. We had something in common all this time. "Sheila, really?! Why didn't you tell me, before?"

"Because that's not why I checked myself in there. Let me finish," she scolds me.

"Yes, ma'am. Continue," I comply.

"The person I stabbed was my boyfriend. But at the time, I was sixteen and he was twenty-two."

My mouth falls open, again.

"Yeah, I know, I was stupid. For some context, my mom was a junkie, and my dad was probably also a junkie, but I never met him. My mom was so sick and out of it, I was basically taking care of her. My boyfriend was the only type of love I knew."

"I'm not judging, I just hate where this is going," I reassure.

"Yeah, well, the sex was consensual, at first. Then, one day, I was just too sore and too tired to please him. That's all it ever was, anyway. Pleasing him," she clarifies before pausing to take another hit. When she hands it to me and shakes her head, I can tell it's about to get ugly.

"I tried, it hurt, he didn't care. He just kept going. I couldn't get him off. I had to let him finish," she breathes in and pauses.

I reach out for her hand, again, and squeeze it. "It's okay. Take your time."

She nods and continues. "Later that night, I went into his drawer while he was asleep. He had a few weapons, but I only grabbed what I knew how to use: a knife. He woke up while I was rifling through, and attacked me. He got me onto the ground, but I had the knife already. I got it into his side and ran off. Yes, I was planning to kill him because I felt it was my only way out, but I failed. Even crazier, I didn't tell anyone what he did to me. I should've, but I didn't realize just how much I should have until a month later.

"Someone else had been raped by him. Another girl that could have been saved from that horror if I had reported him, before. I was scared of being humiliated. I didn't think anyone would believe me."

"So, you checked yourself in because you thought you were crazy for not reporting him?"

"Yes. And I was ready to leave a long time ago, but even if you checked yourself in, you can't check yourself out."