17 Dreams

Chapter 4: Trying To Escape

You will find peace not by trying to escape your problems, but by confronting them courageously. You will find peace not in denial, but in victory - J. Donald Walters

Jake had his arm wrapped around me as he slept. His steady breathing was what was keeping me calm, the little squeeze I felt him give me made my heart flutter, and every time I felt him pull me closer just made me feel more safe. When he let go of me, I took that chance and got out of bed. I just needed to clear my head. After everything that happened with Ava Knight and Professor Stone, I needed some air. I sat down on the balcony, feeling the cool night breeze touch my face. I sighed and it suddenly just hit me. I may never have my old life back. I know what you must be thinking; go back to my abusive step-father? Go back to being the silent freak of Valley High School? Go back to...meaning nothing to Jake? If I'm being completely honest, I've thought about it. My life wasn't perfect, but it was my life. I liked being quiet, I liked it when no one knew who I was, I liked it when Jake and I didn't know each other. Because then, murders weren't happening. I felt a tear roll down my cheek as I've accepted my fate that I can't escape, no matter how hard I try.

Jake's POV

I woke up to feeling cold and lonely. I felt around me and noticed South wasn't in bed. I slowly got up and saw her on her balcony, sitting in a chair, and looking like she's enjoying life. Except, she wasn't enjoying life. The moonlight reflected on her, her shadow showing, and the scar on her left cheek was more visible than ever. I saw tears streaming down her cheeks and it broke my heart. There's never a day that goes by where I wish I could take her pain away. I silently sat down next to her, not saying anything. Instead, I took her hand in mine and just held it.

"I thought you were sleeping." South said.

"I was, but I woke up to see you not in bed. Any reason why you're sitting here?"

"I was...just thinking."

"Thinking? About what?"

"The life I had before. Before any of...this happened. Sure, my life was boring and filled with abuse but it was what I was used to. I was used to going to bed feeling like shit, I was used to hearing my step-father call me a bitch, I was used to Heather and Sasha bullying me. My life was like the common saying, eat, sleep, repeat. I just...sometimes I wish I could go back to that life, before everything turned upside down."

"You mean before me and you happened?"

I gave Jake a sad look.

"South, do you have regrets? Do you regret us being together? Do you regret losing your virginity to me?"

"No! I love you, I really do. But don't you ever wish we could go back? Back to our own routines?"

"I mean, I guess I do think about what my life would be like if I wasn't a survivor of a series of murders. But I also remind myself that because of those murders, me and you became friends. And then I thank the world for letting me get to experience life with a person like you."

I felt more tears run down my face, but this time they're happy tears. I lunged forward and hugged Jake tight, whispering how much I love him.

"Thank you for being here with me. I love you, Jake Denvers."

"I love you more, South Diamond."

After a long silence of hugging, we went back to bed. I was afraid of falling asleep as I had a feeling I might have another dream, but I also feel like that with each dream I get I become closer to finding out the truth about why I'm having these dreams. I closed my eyes and prepared myself for another nightmare.