british gay problems

Politics Golden

"What I don't understand, is that the Ickabog hasn't been able to slip through the brigade in three years!"

Fred was still pretty paranoid of the non-existent monster. "Spittleworth is very good at reassuring me fine, but I can't help but think about it."

John chuckled heartily, patting Fred on the back.

"That greenish furry fiend is probably frightened! I bet that it won't ever come back because of how commanding you are!"

The lie of the Ickabog caused famine and debt around their whole country of Cornucopia, yet Fred was unaware of the other cities.

Roach was called upon by Fred, since the Royal Guards did happen to come along earlier.

"Ah, Roach! I thought you wouldn't be here until tomorrow?"

Roach plastered a smile on his face, pretending to care.

"Yes, Your Majesty. But it was closer than we thought it would be." Roach gritted his teeth, similar to Spittleworth when he was exasperated. Even if they hated each other, Roach took some inspiration from him because of how smart Spittleworth was. Abhorred one another they did, but Roach bedded Spittleworth for a reason.

Spittleworth came downstairs, his hair messy and un-combed. He eyed Roach up and down with disgust, and bowed for the king. Which one? I'm suggesting both.

Roach looked at Spittleworth's behind pervertedly, fixing his gaze back to Fred and King John. Cankerby was in the back while this happened, staring at Roach with the same type of revolted expression.

"Good morning, Your Majesties. I apologize for dozing off in your presence."

John was sharing puzzled looks with Fred, not sure which he was apologizing to. He spoke, assuming that he was the special one.

"Thank you, Lord Spittleworth. I assure you all well." his low voice tried being professional "You didn't bother to brush your hair?"

Spittleworth was offended. Unlike a lot of the royals in the building, his hair wasn't combed, but brushed thoroughly. His locks were just naturally fluffy. He gasped, widening his eyelids.

"I'll have you know, old man, that I do not erotically oil my hair everytime I wake up." he checks his nails pettily "That's bad for my health, and I need to maintain a young structure." he scoffed as if everybody knew that.

"Old man?! Old man?!"

Fred gulped and grabbed John's cape to keep him from chopping Spittleworth's head off.

"I am a king!"

"Not an emperor though.."

John was awfully sick of Spittleworth's sassiness, and his face became as red as an unskinned apple.

"Now if you excuse me, I have business to attend to with my footman." Spittleworth took hold of Cankerby's mitt and strutted upstairs.

--------

The two kings continued to talk about for politics.

"Say, have you gotten my letter including the new rules of Pluritania?"

Fred raised an eyebrow. "What letter?"

John cackled, almost falling off the seat. "You joke! You know what I'm talking about."

Fred just sat there, remembering about how he never got any mail personally. Instead, they were given to the two lords to take care of. The two lords. Someone had that letter. And it was one of his two best friends.

John's smile faded into dark rage. "You should have those rules, Fred. Why don't you..?"

Fred's sweat ran down his forehead, making it possible for him to cause a tsunami.

"W-What's so important about them? They're just-"

In an instant, John banged the table and screeched "You need to follow those rules, Fred!"

Smoke came out of John's ears. "My secrataries are old, decaying geezers! They can't remember a thing! Those rules were sent out to you for you to follow!"

If you went back a few pages, some of them were irrelevant to Fred. Still, that didn't stop John from having an upset session.

"I'm sorry I-"

"You will get that letter, or else I will start a war with you."

It was true. There was originally an island that was connected to Cornucopia and Pluritania. It was never seen again.

King Fred shivered in his boots, and nodded.

"I'll try.." Fred grinned nervously.

"Good. Whoever has it, I'll make sure to take care of."