Midnight ---..
Chita station me aata h dekh ta h ... Ki santu apni desk par so Rahi h ... Vo bhi uncomfortable position pa .. he carefully make santu in a comfortable position and place a few chocolates and ice pack .. and silently do santu work without making noise .. and say.. in mind
Cc: aap ko bhut rulaya h na santu ji hum na .. aap Puri tare ka sa thi bhi nhi hue aur mena ... Enta sari bata suna de .. aur dekhiye aap ko aakha kitne suj gaye h ... Ap ki eski wajah bhi me hu...
Santu stirs slightly, sensing a gentle touch but too tired to wake fully. Chita watches her with a mix of guilt and tenderness, his heart heavy with the weight of unspoken words. He carefully places a soft blanket over her and takes a deep breath, his mind racing.
Chita (in his mind): "Santu ji, aap kitni takleef mein hain, aur main... main hi is sab ka zimmedar hoon. Aap se door rehne ki koshish ki, par dil kabhi door ho hi nahi paya. Aapke aansu, yeh suji hui aankhen... har dard ki wajah main hoon. Par ab aur nahi, Santu ji. Aapko aur rula nahi sakta. Main aapke liye kuch karna chahta hoon, par shayad yeh kaafi nahi hoga..."
He silently works through her tasks, his focus unwavering. As he finishes, he takes a step back, looking at Santu’s peaceful face, and whispers to himself:
Chita: "Santu ji, shayad main apni galtiyon ko sudhar nahi sakta, par aapke liye yeh chhoti si khushi dena chahta hoon. ... aur yeh jo kuch bhi main kar raha hoon, sirf isliye taaki aapko thoda sukoon mil sake. Aapko phir se muskuraate dekhna chahta hoon, Santu ji. Umeed hai, ek din... aap mujhe maaf kar paengi."
He leaves quietly, his heart still heavy, but with a small hope that maybe, just maybe, things could be better one day.
As Chita quietly exits the room, his footsteps soft and careful, he can't help but glance back at Santu one last time. The soft glow of the desk lamp bathes her in a gentle light, making her look even more fragile. Chita’s heart aches, knowing that he is partly to blame for the pain she's enduring.
Stepping into the hallway, Chita leans against the wall, taking a deep breath. The emotions he’s kept bottled up for so long now threaten to spill over. He clenches his fists, trying to keep his composure.
Chita (in his mind): "Mujhse yeh sab bardasht nahi hota... Santu ji ko aise takleef mein dekh kar. Kab tak chhupaunga yeh sab? Main chah kar bhi apni feelings ko daba nahi pa raha hoon. Par kya yeh sahi hoga? Kya main yeh haq rakhta hoon ki Santu ji se kuch kehne ka, unse kuch umeed rakhne ka?"
His mind drifts back to moments they shared, brief smiles, and casual conversations that now feel so distant. The more he thinks, the more he realizes how much he values her, not just as a colleague but as someone who’s become an integral part of his life.
Chita (in his mind): "Main unhe khush dekhna chahta hoon, bas yahi meri tamanna hai. Par agar meri wajah se unka dard badh raha hai toh shayad... shayad mujhe unse door rehna hi sahi hoga. Lekin kya main yeh kar paunga? Har pal unka khayal dil se nikaal kar?"
Just then, a soft rustle from the room makes him turn. Santu is still asleep, her breathing steady. The chocolates and ice pack lie by her side, untouched. A small smile tugs at the corner of Chita's lips, a bittersweet smile.
Chita (whispering to himself): "Santu ji... agar yeh mohabbat hai, toh yeh kitni takleef de rahi hai. Par agar aap khush hain, toh main apne dil ki baat hamesha ke liye daba dunga. Lekin agar kabhi aapko meri zaroorat padhe, toh main hamesha yahin rahunga, bas aapke liye."
With that, he walks away, the corridor seeming longer and lonelier with each step. The weight of his unspoken feelings presses down on him, but he knows that he needs to let Santu heal in her own time, without any further burden from him.
TBC
I know it's not that great ...
