𝘓𝘢𝘣𝘺𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘩 ༄ [discontinued.]

chapter 11

I keep these longings locked
In lowercase inside a vault
__________

The filming in Busan is going to end soon. It has been five days since he indirectly confessed his feelings, but I chose to respond with apathy to the questions my head created after that day. However, that decision did not stop the thoughts to overflow because Beomgyu has been close to me. Too close.

When I got sick two days ago, he handed me a small paper bag full of medications and cooling gel sheets for my fever.

When I fell asleep, I woke up with a flask on my bedside table. It had a sticky note on that read "Drink this honey citron tea for your cold :) - C.B."

Before we film for the show, he would constantly ask me if I was feeling better, and I would reply the answer to it. He's just closer and sweeter than we met again for the first time.

"Do you need water, Ryu?" Beomgyu asks. I politely declined as I rubbed by palms over my arms.

When no one was looking, he wrapped a warm blanket around me as I sat on one of the plastic chairs facing the beach. He sat on the vacant chair, two seats away from me. He sips from his flask filled with hot coffee.

My eyebrows were left furrowed, but I didn't decline the blanket he gave me.

When the filming by the fire place with Taehyun and Yeonjun ended, I reviewed the clips with the team. Beomgyu was curious, so he stood to my right, behind me. His hand rests on my left shoulder— as if he wrapped his arm around my back.

I did not want to cause a scene, and ask him to take his hand off me, but I was also scared that people would notice how we got close so easily since we started filming this reality show.

"And that's all for the clips today, we'll make sure to edit these nicely," the director said.

"Thank you, director," I said with a smile on my face. He nods, and I see his eyes land on Beomgyu's hand on my shoulder. This is what I've been scared of.

"Looks like you and Beom are close already?" I tried to not stop smiling because of what the director said.

"Yeah. The conversations during shoot were pretty personal, but Miss Shin made it very easy to talk about." I cheeks tinged pink at the compliment that Beomgyu gave me. It's rare to hear someone say that their ex make them feel comfortable to be around.

"True, and you guys get along with each other like you've been friends for a really long time." That's when I choked out a laugh, and excused myself from the situation.

The sun was setting, and the breeze was getting colder outside. It is getting warmer, though since Spring is around the corner. I could not wait for the flowers to bloom, and get a day off... with Soobin... supposedly. I don't even know if we're okay.

He hasn't been replying to my messages. I asked some of his friends if he's okay, and they replied that he's alright, so I did not worry much about his well-being. I was more concerned if our wedding will push through or not because of his behavior. My blood only boiled thinking how he's ignoring the woman he kneeled before and vowed his life to.

Men just can't fulfill their promises, can't they?

I went to the rest house to pack my things because we're leaving tomorrow afternoon. Taehyun was outside the rooms, packing his own things. He didn't brought much things, so only had his big bag to fix.

"Hey there, Taehyun," I greeted him.

"Hey," he replied with a smile. "Beomgyu's acting weird, isn't he?"

Great. If it wasn't Soobin, the problematic fiancé, that I was thinking of, it would be Beomgyu, the troublesome ex / co-worker. I just want these men to stop bugging my life, and get straight with their intentions! Did they not finish kindergarten, that they don't know how to think and act straight?

"Your mind's going to explode if you think that hard, Shin," Taehyun tells me. I chuckled at his judgment. He's always been the observer in our friend group back then.

"You should explode your best friend because he's making me think of so many things," I confessed.

And I shouldn't have because Beomgyu was staring right by the doorway, staring at me blankly.

My heart starts to beat rapidly. I wanted to escape another scene where he's in, but he moves closer towards me, his gaze never leaving mine.

"Come with me," he says. "Please."

Beomgyu walks to his room. Taehyun looked concerned, but he nodded at me, convincing me to follow the guy.

I twisted the door open, and pushed my back on the other side of the door to shut it. He's sitting on the corner of his bed, and I was standing far from him.

Thoughts start to pile in my head, and fear starts to kick into me. My heart wouldn't stop beating, and now that we are forced to be in one room, just confirmed my confusion with how I feel towards him.

I am still attracted to Choi Beomgyu. There is no more denying that. I've been ignoring the fact because I am in a relationship, but a hidden truth will always find its way to be known.

And too bad, I had to find it out this way.

"I can't be here," I told him.

"Why?" He asked. "Because your dumb fiancé will get mad?"

"He is not dumb, Beomgyu. We're just having a fight, and couples fight." He chuckled at my words.

"And you really think I believe that you're okay with this long fight?"

"Get your head straight, Ryujin. You don't like fighting with people you love, you always wanted it to be fixed immediately with proper communication, and too bad, your dumbass lawyer fiancé just can't do that."

I scoffed. He's spitting unsolicited insults. "What's the reason why you asked me here, Choi. Stop insulting the man I'm engaged to."

"The man who's ignoring you? Who can't even take care of you when you're cold or sick! He's too busy? Fuck that, man. I am busy too, but I can do it, can't I?"

"I did not ask you to do those for me, Beomgyu," I said, my voice almost shaking for the consecutive facts he slapped to my face. I was too independent that I thought by only having Soobin around is enough, but he barely gave enough care for like he said he did.

"I know. I did that because I love you, Ryujin."
He walks towards me. His eyes soft. His demeanor gentle. His words... sincere. I felt everything, and it was real.

"And it hurts me to know that you love someone, and gave someone so much, who can't even reciprocate that kind of love and effort to you."

His eyes lands on my lips, and I pressed them lightly. This is wrong.

He looks at my eyes once again. The next thing I know, my hand is wrapped around his nape, his hand doing the same to me, and we were kissing.

_______________________
author's note:
gentle reminder
i don't tolerate cheating in real life
this is all only for the plot!

also, i just want to ask if you'd prefer
a chapter update every other day,
or an update with 5 chapters
every other week?