Ice, Ice, Babies!

Will You?

I got picked up by an exhausted Trevor after an agonizing five days in the hospital. He could barely visit because he was at home taking care of Gus and Gwen. I was so lonely, and my dad would call, but he couldn't come visit because he was away in Casa Del something doing a gig.

We went home, and I knew there was a long way to go in my recovery. I couldn't lift anything or do any exercise other than walking. I was totally sore, and my hormones were all out of whack.

My doctor explained now that all my reproductive organs were gone, I'd be going through menopause. That's right. I was twenty and going through menopause. It tore me up that basically everyone else had a normal birth and got to go home with their babies. It was like my life was on "extra hard" mode. It baffled me sometimes.

"I wanna feed him!" Elsie said on the other side of the room.

"No, it's my turn!" Annie said, picking Gus up out of his swing and bringing him to the other side of the room.

Thank goodness I had such great little helpers. I sighed and laid back on the couch while Trevor came next to me with Gwen. He was trying to keep her and Gus on the same feeding schedule.

"I feel like I'm such a bad mom because I'm too sore to hold them," I said, my voice breaking.

"You'll be better soon. Don't worry," Trevor said, giving me a comforting smile.

The next few days I spent just trying to rest and heal as much as I could. The day before Christmas Eve, Trevor and I went out on a walk. I was feeling okay enough to walk from my car over to the bench by the frozen lake. I'd never been to Allistar Lake in the wintertime. All the snow-covered pine trees were beautiful.

"Look at us, on our first walk as a family," Trevor said.

He was wearing a carrier with Gwen, and I had Gus, who everyone was starting to call my mini-me. It hurt to carry him in the sling, but it was manageable.

"This is about as far as I can go," I said, stopping at the first bench.

"Okay, we'll sit," Trevor said.

"I know it's pretty warm for December since it's in the mid-forties but I still think it's a little too cold for them," I said, holding Gus closer to me.

"They're all bundled up. I think they'll be fine." He took my hand. "Nice view, huh?"

"Yeah, it is," I said.

"How are you feeling about Christmas?"

"Still terrible to spend the first one without my mom, and without my dad now, too. The early menopause makes it a lot worse. These hot flashes in the middle of the night are killing me. My sisters are sad, my babies cry a lot...I just want to get it done and over with."

"I figured. I brought you here because I wanted to tell you that I got you something special. I wanted to make this Christmas at least a little bit happy for you."

I hope it's the new iPad that I really want. Or an SUV with a third row of seats so we're not all squished together anymore.

"Let's make it quick. I really want to bring the babies back inside," I said.

"Lynn, I love you," he said.

"I know. You tell me all the time."

He sighed. "Lynn, I love you a lot. You gave us these two beautiful babies. I want us to be a family and spend the rest of our lives together. You make me so happy." He got down on one knee, Gwen still strapped to his chest, and pulled a black box out of his coat pocket. "Lynn, will you marry me?"

I blinked a few times, trying to process what was happening. All I could say was, "Huh?"

"I love you so much. I would love to throw the wedding of your dreams and live a great life together. No one makes me feel the way you do, my love."

"Trev, we're twenty. I don't want to get married this young. I'm really sorry," I said.

"We can wait as long as we need to. Don't you want to at least see the ring before you decline? I think you'll really like it."

I sighed. "Okay." He opened the box to reveal a beautiful ring that had pink and purple stones in the center. "You got me a ring with my favorite color combination? Seriously? I love it!"

"I knew you would," he said, taking it out of the box. I let him slide it onto my ring finger. "My fiance!"

"Your finance for a long time. I at least want to wait to plan this until after I'm done with school," I said. "So you've got a good couple of years."

"Like I said, I'll wait as long as I need to," he said.

"You should probably get up. Your knee is literally right in the snow."

"Oh...look at that," he said, getting to his feet.

He helped me up and we walked to the car. I couldn't stop admiring my ring. For some reason I never imagined myself as a married woman. My parents' marriage was always really rocky, so it left a bad taste in my mouth.

I looked over at Trevor as we drove back to my house and smiled. I had a good feeling about this. We were a different couple.