Freedom

3. we meet again

Gabriel left the room,  fleeing down the hall to grab his things and go back to the housing side of the building. He couldn't believe what he had just done.he broke about three of him main rules tonight. The first being, don't enjoy the job. The second being, if he did enjoy it, don't let them know, the third and biggest one being, if hebdid enjoy it, do not accept that person again.

It hadn't happened very often, but when he did have a partner that he enjoyed the session with, he always passed them off to someone else. He did not need a repeat that he could grow attached to, it would mess with his ability to work if he actually started enjoying sex.

He couldn't stop himself, though. Something about this man, Sam, had made him crazy. He wasn't sure if it was just the sex or if it was the way he had touched him after. How gental he had been, or how nice it felt when he stroked his hair, but something about him had Gabriel confused and wanting him to return.

Gabriel quickly showered and climbed into bed, trying to get their session off his mind. instead, he found himself replaying it in his head, letting the memory wash over him. He fell asleep thinking of Sam.

The next day few days went by in a blur.  Gabriel got up, went to work, and went to bed. Finally Monday rolled around and he was thrilled. Mondays and Tuesdays were always slow, so he got to have a couple days off. He got up and took a shower like normal, getting dressed and making his way outside for a walk. The crisp fall air felt good on his skin. It had taken a while for him to convince Castiel to let him have some free time, and even longer to let him leave the building alone, but how as long as he kept the location turned on on his cell phone, he was allowed put between 9am and 9pm each day he didn't work.

Gabriel walked down to the park, stopping at the coffee cart to get a cup. He made his way to one of the benches by the duck pond and sat down, taking a sip of his hot drink.

He watched the ducks splashing aground, knowing they would be heading south soon, a dull ache forming in his chest. His dad used to bring him here in the mornings before school to feed the ducks when he was little. They would bring a few slices of bread and tear off little pieces for each one, watching as they swam around and caught them in the water.  That was before the drinking started, before he lost his job and went into a mountain of debt.

Gabriel felt a tear slide down his cheek as he thought about his life before. He missed his small bedroom that had been filled with books and art supplies. He missed his ratty only comforter that he would curl up in when he was sad. He missed being a person, instead of whatever he was now.

There was no kindness, no comfort in his world now. So soft touches, or hugs from people who cared about him.  He knew thatbwas why he had asked Sam to come back. The soft touches he gave, the gentleness,  Gabriel craved feeling that again,  even if it was only part of a game.

"Hey, are you okay?"

Gabriel's jerked, he hadn't realized he had started crying, or that he had dropped his coffee. He nodded to who over was talking, getting up to leave.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

Gabriel walked away from the stranger, wanting to be alone and clear his head.  He made his way to the library, waving at the woman behind the desk. He walked into the fiction section, pulling a book at random and settling into one of the bean bags chairs on the floor.

He spent the next few hours reading the book. It was a fairy tale. A princess locked in a tower, a knight coming to save her, the usual, but Gabriel loved happy endings, even if they were only in books. When he finished that one, he pulled another, reading through the whole thing as well. By the time he finished the second book, it was seven pm, and the library was closing.