Timeless - Connor Dewar

eight - amelia

Present day

You always like to think your wedding as one of the most important events of your life.

And, you know what? It usually is. It should be, at least, but I just can't do it. It isn't clicking in my brain – that I'm going to be chained to someone for the rest of my life – even though I've been told exactly that my entire life. 'You'll marry a nice man,' they said, 'You'll have a family.'

"You look beautiful, Amelia," My mom's voice rings through my thoughts as she finishes buttoning up the back of the gown I'm trying on, straightening out the train.

I turn around to look at myself in the mirror, and I just can't do anything but frown. The dress is beautiful, elegant, detailed, a dream for anyone, really, but it feels foreign on me. I notice my mom smiling in the back of the reflection, along with Cora and Willow, and I feel like I have to do something, say something, anything to make them think that everything is okay.

That I don't feel like everything is crashing down around me.

"Thanks, Mom," I say plainly, swallowing the lump in my throat. I turn around, facing my bridesmaids (the only two that could make it) head-on. "What do you guys think?" I ask, although I don't really care what they think. All I can think about is how much I don't like this.

Cora claps her hands together, her eyes sparkling. "You look like a princess, Amelia! It's perfect!"

Willow nods vigorously, a wide grin on her face. "Absolutely stunning! Danny is going to lose his mind when he sees you in this."

I force a smile, trying to match their enthusiasm. They're happy for me, and I should be happy too, right? This is what I've always wanted, isn't it? To marry a nice man, to have a family, to settle down. But as I stand here, enveloped in layers of white tulle and lace, I can't shake the feeling that something is terribly wrong.

Do I really want this? Do I really want to spend the rest of my life with Danny? He's a great guy—kind, supportive, loves me to bits—but is that enough? Shouldn't I feel more excitement, more joy, more...something?

"Are you okay, Amelia?" Willow's voice breaks through my thoughts, her brow furrowed with concern.

I nod quickly, too quickly. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just...nervous, I guess." Nervous is an understatement. I feel like I'm about to crawl out of my own skin.

Mom steps forward, placing her hands on my shoulders. "It's natural to feel nervous, sweetheart. But remember, this is your day. You deserve to be happy."

Happy. That's the word that keeps echoing in my mind. Am I happy? I don't know anymore. I thought I was, but now everything feels so uncertain. The image of Connor's face flashes in my mind, unbidden. I shake my head slightly, trying to dispel the thought. Why am I thinking about him now?

"Maybe we should try a different dress," I suggest, hoping the change will distract me from the turmoil inside.

Cora and Willow exchange glances, but they nod in agreement. "Sure, let's see what else they have," Cora says, her voice gentle.

As I step out of the gown and into the next one, my mind drifts back to Connor. Seeing him again at the arena, doing what he loves, what he always dreamed of. The way his eyes lit up when he recognized me, and the way my heart raced even though I tried to tell myself it didn't matter. I thought I had moved on, but seeing him brought back a flood of memories and emotions I thought I had buried.

"Amelia, what about this one?" Mom holds up another dress, this one simpler, with less embellishment.

I step into it, letting them zip me up. The fabric feels lighter, less constricting, but the weight in my chest remains. As I look in the mirror, I try to picture myself walking down the aisle, saying my vows, starting a life with Danny. But all I can see is Connor's face, his sad eyes when he saw the ring on my finger.