𝐓𝐡𝐞 "𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭" 𝐇𝐞𝐫𝐨

Why Not Me?

||~Percy~||
I'm pacing around my cabin, the stress and guilt eating at my soul. I fist my hair, tugging twice as hard as I usually do. I relish in the pain. I embrace it. I allow myself to tug harder.

Tug. Tug. Tug. Tug.

My breaths come out as short, uneven pants. I feel dizzy. When was the last time I had eaten?

Eyes. Eyes. Eyes. Eyes.

Everywhere, all I see are eyes staring at me whenever I leave my cabin now. Watching me. Judging me.

My friends are afraid of me. I see it every time I pass others at camp. Every time I wave, people cower in my presence. Every time I smile at them or talk to them, they make an excuse and run.

Annabeth and the others are the only ones who talk to me here now. I feel lonely, which is stupid because I have friends. I'm fine.
Tug. Tug. Tug. Tug.

I feel so dizzy. My stomach feels like there's a hole in the center. Gods, when was the last time I had eaten? Have I even eaten this week? What is wrong with me? Why am I acting so pathetic? So weak?!
My mind is everywhere and nowhere at once. I feel so overwhelmed, even though I have no reason to be. I'm supposed to be perfect. I'm supposed to be the hero everyone wanted. Everyone needed.

I'm useless if I'm pathetic. I'm worthless and not worthy of their praise. Their love, if I'm not strong enough.

I hear a voice from outside my door, but its muffled. I can hardly hear over the ringing in my ears. When did my ears start to ring? Blood cascades down my face, and I stumble against my bed. My breathing picks up. I can't breathe. My skin is burning, and my body is aching.

I hear banging, and I'm instantly transported back to memories of before Camp. Before Paul.

Gabe.

I fall onto my knees, tugging harder at my hair and biting the insides of my mouth so hard I can taste my blood. I can hear Gabe calling my name. I can feel his hands on my skin. I want to scrub my skin so hard that I'll peel it off. Maybe peeling it will be best. I won't feel him touching me anymore. I won't hear him scream my name out of anger.

The ringing in my ears is louder now. It hurts. My head hurts so badly, but I keep tugging.

Tug. Tug. Tug. Tug.

I keep tugging, embracing the electrifying pain I feel.

Blood drips onto my shirt from my chin, but I don't care. I don't care if I bleed out from my head. I don't care anymore.

||~Leo~||
I watch as Annabeth continuously knocks on Percy's door, calling his name. "Something is definitely wrong if he isn't answering the door. He always answers when I knock." Annabeth fusses, her eyes narrowed with worry. Piper sighs, "Annabeth, maybe he's sleeping?"

Nico looks at Piper, "Percy may be a heavy sleeper, but he is not that heavy of a sleeper. I heard Annabeth banging on his door all the way from my cabin." Nico says as he tucks his hands into his pockets as Hazel hums. "Lemme try, okay Annabeth? Just calm down." Hazel says to Annabeth, who's hands are shaking but she nods anyway.

"Percy? It's me, Hazel. Can you please open the door? We're a little worried about you."

Yet again, no response.

"Percy, Annabeth is in trouble." Hazel quickly says, feigning distress.

No response.

"Yeah, no. Something is definitely up." I peek through the windows, and immediately fall back, face going pale.

"What? What is it?" Annabeth ask quickly, looking at me. "You, uh, might wanna kick the door down. Like, now." Piper looks at me, then back at the door. "I'll buy a new door for the cabin." She kicks the door hard enough for the hinges to break, which is impressive. "Percy?" Grover calls.

Annabeth runs to Percy, who is sitting on the floor with blood staining his hair and face. He's crying. I don't think I've ever seen him cry. He's tugging at his hair, murmuring something about Gabe and not being good enough.
"Percy? Percy, stop tugging your hair." Hazel attempts to touch his shoulder, to comfort him, but Percy snaps his head toward her and backs away. "No, no. Stop. Stop!" He yells. The toilet and shower in his bathroom burst, water sprinkling everywhere.

"Percy? Hey, hey, calm down. it's okay." Annabeth shushes, sitting down in front of him. "I need you to calm down, okay? Look at me, please." She raises her hands, to show she won't touch him. "Please." Percy's trembling, and he drops his pen as he blinks a couple of times. "Annabeth?" He whispers.
She smiles and nods, "Yeah. Yeah, Seaweed Brain. I'm Annabeth. Calm down, okay?" She looks over at Nico, "Go get Will, please." Nico watches the two of them for a moment before fading into the shadows.

He appears a few minutes later with Will.

||~Annabeth~||
I watch as Will wraps Percy's head in a bandage. "What happened, Percy? We heard you yelling and screaming." I ask, hesitantly putting my hand over his. Percy looks down at me, "Yelling?"

Will looks at Percy, "You were screaming so loudly, everybody thought a monster broke into Camp and got to you. Chiron is calming everyone down as we speak." Percy's eyes widen and he worries the inside of his lower lip. "I'm sorry. I didn't even know I was screaming. I-"

"Hey, its okay. But we want to know how this," I touch his head gently, "Happened."
Percy frowns and rests his back against the wall after Will is done tying the bandage. "I sometimes tug my hair when I'm stressed. Sometimes I tug too hard to the point of damage."

I look at him, worry finding itself into my heart. "Why?" He shrugs, "I dunno. Stress relief? Its fine. I'm fine." Will crosses his arms, "Well, you tugged so hard you caused skull damage to your damn head." Will huffed, then his eyes softened with worry. "You're lucky I know how to heal people, Percy. The damage was severe."
Percy looks down at his pen, Riptide. I touch his hand gently. "What are you stressed about?" I ask. "It's- It's good to talk about."

He shakes his head, "I'm fine." Hazel frowns, "Percy, you aren't 'fine'." She makes sure to do air quotes. Percy hides his face in his arms, tucking in on himself like a ball. I notice how many scars he has on his arms.
Way too many for comfort.

"We're your friends, you can trust us." Frank says, sitting down beside Percy, who's frown deepens as he mumbles something.
"Speak up, man." Leo jokes, a smile on his face. Percy looks up, "If it weren't for me turning down Apollo, Jason wouldn't be dead."