little by little

solo, so low

𝓉𝓇𝒾𝑔𝑔𝑒𝓇 𝓌𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈 𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉𝑒𝒹 𝒾𝓃 𝑜𝓅𝑒𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒶𝓊𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓇'𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉𝑒

♡

things have been tense in the house over the past few days.

sapnap isn't sure exactly why, since nothing has particularly changed, but something feels strung tight and filled with a tension that is just about ready to snap.

usually, feelings like this would bring him a horrible anxiousness, wondering what he did wrong or why people are acting weird but, for what feels like the first time... he isn't involved.

it feels like an impossible scenario, because they've always been so close, but the awkward unsureness is between dream and george - both boys are still acting normal with sapnap. it's even weirder because dream has always been big on communication, so the ravenette can't figure out why his best friend hasn't tried to fix the issue yet.

unless, of course, dream doesn't know what's wrong either.

as cruel as it sounds, this issue comes down to george's implicit inability to communicate. sapnap has never been good at talking, that much is true, but he can be honest if it's necessary and if someone pries it out of him. george, on the other hand, is more likely to completely freeze up in the face of anything serious.

sapnap hates to think of all the things that george must've swept under the rug because he was simply too uncomfortable to talk about it. how many times has the brit been upset and not told anyone? how often does sapnap make jokes that are too far, but george never mentions it?

it's shit but, even more than that, the situation has led sapnap into a dark corner where he isn't sure what he should be doing. if dream and george are arguing, should he stop regressing and leave them to settle it alone? if dream is unaware of said argument, does that mean he is still available as a caregiver?

is it bad that sapnap doesn't want to go to dream?

usually dream is his preference, because the blond was his first caregiver and he's more openly affectionate than george is but, for some reason, the ravenette has felt reluctant for the past few days. maybe it's just because of the tension with george.

after all, he doesn't want them to feel like he is taking sides.

even now, when dream is shut away in his room reading and george is upstairs (presumably sleeping), the uncomfortable atmosphere feels physical. sapnap hates it, and he wishes he could fix it all but he can't.

instead, the ravenette is sitting on the lounge floor with his back against the couch and his legs spread out in front of him as he fiddles with his fingers.

he's regressed, but he can't bring himself to ask for company. not just because he doesn't want them to argue, but because he feels like it would be wrong to bring them into his space right now.

there is a dark cloud looming over sapnap, waiting to rain on him, and a little voice in his head warns him not to bring his friends into the darkness. they are too good to be infected by his ghosts.