COVERT : Spencer Reid (II)

40

The presentation goes well, but Reid doesn't make eye contact with me the entire time. He doesn't even ask questions, but I watch him write down a few during the presentation. It doesn't matter, because at lunch Caro comes and picks me up and we drive down to Shenandoah.

Bastien gets shotgun because of the concussion, even though I insist he would be safer in the back seat. He sticks his tongue out at me. Real mature.

The drive isn't too long.

"How's it been living with Spencer?" Caro asks. "Any difficulties?"

I swallow, "he wants to tell our coworkers about us. He thinks I'm embarrassed of him."

"Embarrassed?" Bastien snorts. "As if. He's out of your league."

I kick his chair, even though he's right. "Yeah, well I still haven't told him about what happened in Québec, and so he has misconstrued my issues with commitment as caused by embarrassment and not... whatever. You'll just be a dick about it."

"He will," Caro agrees. "But I won't."

Bastien groans.

He looks good. At the very least, he smells sober. With Caro crowding around him, I imagine he hasn't had a huge opportunity to drink around her. I wish I could ask Reid about it, since Reid is a recovering addict. Reid can drink now, but he'll never ever be able to use again, not that he should. I can't tell what is happening with my brother, and it makes me sick to my stomach.

I manage to divert the conversation to my roommates, and Caro says she gets on well with Estelle, which is news to me. She thinks Rachel is too wild, but Caro and Rachel are near opposites so I can't say I'm all that surprised. We save talking about Bastien's condition for when we run into Stéphane.

When we finally get in and park on the cabin he's rented for us, he steps out and my jaw drops. It's only been three weeks, but he looks different. Bulkier, somehow, but maybe that's just the thick flannel he's wearing. The boots and the beanie probably make him look taller too. He's got scruff, which has come in entirely ginger. I step out of the car with my siblings.

"Hey!" he hurries over.

He hugs Caro and me, and then finally hugs Bastien. Caro and I make eye contact as they do.

We spend the afternoon rock climbing. I take a bunch of new pictures of us all to add to my rotating photo album. I've already got the Christmas pictures in there, the ones without Spencer in them. My heart tugs.

If we split, will I have to delete those photos? God, are we going to split? We can't. I have to figure out someway to convince him I'm not embarrassed, preferably one which doesn't involve telling our coworkers about our relationship.

We spend most of Saturday doing the usual activities as well. The water is freezing when we kayak. We also go for a hike. This time, none of us scream in the woods which is refreshing for Stéphane I'm sure.

Toward the end of our last night, we're running out of firewood so the boys go out together to cut more. Caro and I are curled around the fire, watching the dwindling embers.

"So, you're still thinking about him. It wasn't just a little fight, was it?" she asks.

I shake my head, "don't know if we are going to be together when I get back."

She nods, slightly, "me either."

The fire lets out one last crackle before it dies. I want to lean over and turn on the lamp, but she doesn't move either and then the two of us are sitting in silence.